Synthesis Aftermath: The Ascended
by MapleRootBear
Summary: Preparing to return to Earth sans-relay, the Normandy's crew lament Shepard's sacrifice. Garrus learns more about the benefits of the Synthesis, and the true origin of the Crucible. The more he learns, the less he is convinced Shepard is dead. Is Garrus having trouble coping? Or is Shepard really out there somewhere? ME3 continuation. Rated M for turian smooches and whatnot.
1. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 1

**Background:**

FemShep - Soldier Class

Earthborn - Hero

Ending - Synthesis

Paragon

**Notes for you!**

EDIT: Rating has been changed from T to M - upcoming chapters have some sexuality and violence. Being new, I rather not mess up my "first time." :p

Thanks to some feedback in the reviews, I've went through all chapters and restructured the paragraphs; hopefully this makes it easier to read!

_This is the first fan-fiction I've ever written. I enjoy writing, but I don't do it much, so I don't expect it'll be fantastic by any means. I have a lot more planned for this story, but I'm really just feeling it out right now and trying to get into Garrus' head the best I can before I invest more into fleshing it out.  
_

_I feel like I should add a disclaimer; there may be inaccuracies or discrepancies: both vs the ME universe/story, as well as my own writing. I just really, REALLY need it to continue, and this is my way of satiating my need! I hope someone out there enjoys it!  
_

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_Please note: the artist who created the brilliant pictures I used for my thumbnails has kindly given me permission to use them. I'd also like to suggest you check out their work! It's AMAZING. **Wei723** on DeviantArt._

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_Here goes!_

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The blazing sound of the Reaper tore through the skies above; Garrus clutched his chest over his armor, hoping it would somehow relieve the painful pressure of broken ribs and cracked carapace.

EDI held him up and began escorting him further into the Normandy's shuttlebay. Her body was scorched and steaming, but she seemed more or less undamaged. She was stronger than Garrus expected; effortlessly propping up the turian in full armor.

EDI led Garrus a few more feet into the shuttlebay as the Normandy began flying away; he turned around to take one last look at the mayhem below. He could make out Shepard as she sprinted towards the beacon, dodging missiles and shrapnel. They had already said their goodbyes, but the shuttle bay door began to close, and Garrus started to panick.

"NO!" he tried to shout, but the pain in his chest and shoulder made it nearly impossible. EDI was still propping him up, and heard him clear enough. She stopped the door and slowed down the Normandy.

Joker's frantic voice rang over the intercom, "EDI, we have to get out of here! Reapers are going to be up our asses in 20 seconds!"

EDI began leading Garrus back towards the shuttle bay opening, "Jeff, please allow us 10 more seconds." Jeff didn't answer but he also didn't attempt to fly away or override the door.

With his good arm, Garrus grabbed onto a ceiling bar to support himself, and continued to look down at Shepard. She seemed so tiny and vulnerable in the battlefield below; so far away from safety. As she dodged a missile, the looming Reaper's "eye" began charging a deadly red glow. Garrus went cold. Everything happened in slow motion. The laser seared through the ground, bee-lining towards Shepard. Garrus couldn't think straight anymore, all he knew was he needed to be down there with her. He didn't' care how far the drop was, he almost hurled himself off the edge of the Normandy shuttlebay. EDI held on tight though, and pulled him back; they fell to the floor. She didn't let go. Garrus could only manage a hoarse sob through his injuries, and EDI held him tighter. He struggled to crawl on his knees to the edge again, he could see the battlefield below; it was barren, with no sign of Shepard or anyone else.

Jeff's angry voice rang in again "We're leaving, or we all die!" The shuttle bay door began to close, and the Normandy started forward.

"NO!" Garrus managed to exert a painful cry. He struggled again, standing up, putting his hands on the closing door, pushing against it as if trying to stop it. EDI didn't intervene; she stood behind him, as if to guard him. Garrus began shoving his uninjured shoulder against the door, and then smashing it with his fist. He continued for a few more moments until he wore himself out and stood still, resting his forehead on the fully-closed door. He closed his eyes and slowly sunk to the floor; his armor clanking on the metal. James arrived in full armor with Dr Chakwas at his side to take Garrus to the medical bay.

Vega put his hand on Garrus' shoulder; "Alright, buddy," he said softly. Garrus didn't look up, but he let Vega grab him from under his good shoulder and he stood up without giving his shipmate trouble.

"She was alone," Garrus whispered.

Vega frowned, "She'll be fine, hermano." He seemed concerned, but not as devastated as Garrus was. Vega didn't see what happened below, but all he knew was that if they lost hope in the Commander, they lost hope in everything.

James led Garrus to the med bay, and Dr. Chakwas began scanning him in silence. Garrus sat on a med-table, looking down, replaying the scene in his head over and over again. Vega stayed with him, while EDI returned to the flight deck to assist Joker with nagivating through the apocalyptic battle above Earth. For the next while, Garrus seemed gone; unable to respond to his friends or surroundings. James helped Chakwas remove Garrus' scorched armor and cut through his thermal-suit to reveal his torso. The carapace around Garrus' shoulder was cracked, and his chest was discoloured with bruising. The doctor cleaned the cobalt-blue blood spattered over the turian's chest and neck, dressed his wounds with medi-gel, wrapped his chest and shoulder with bandages, and set Garrus's arm to his chest with a sling.

They then gently helped him lie down on a med-table and left him in peace. Garrus stared up to the ceiling, allowing a hot tear to roll back down onto the table before Chakwas' sedative threw Garrus into a deep, dreamless sleep.

_High above Earth, the battle against the Reapers and the collective force of the fleets raged on. Though Commander Shepards efforts to align the galaxy's forces were not fruitless; the Reapers were simply too experienced in eradicating entire races; they tore through the fleets easily with systemized terror and strategy. _

_The Normandy maneuvered fluidly through the battle, effortlessly dodging the dense debris of fleet ship and Reaper alike, floating listlessly above the Earth's atmosphere. It sped through the ravaging war towards the Citadel. Several Alliance warships stood guard of the Citadel, which was closed tight in its defensive case state. All they could do was wait, and stay safe while they awaited Shepard's call. The crew had no choice but to believe the Commander made it to the Citadel; EDI hadn't mentioned to even Joker what she and Garrus saw in the fray below before Shepard made it to the beam. She calculated there would be no positive outcome to the crew reacting to Shepard potentially being decimated by a Reaper before even getting close to the Crucible. _

_Joker kept the Normandy moving, allowing EDI to send out shots towards any stray Reaper-Collector Oculi they were able to take out._

_The crew members that had been fighting on Earth had been picked up prior to retrieving Garrus and EDI. They were tasked with providing Shepard back-up on the Citadel if needed. They had no idea what to expect, but the entire crew was ready to be there to extract their Commander at any cost in the case she failed to engage the Crucible; it felt like forever as they waited for her call. An uneasy anxiety rolled through the crew as their Commander's comm channel continued its restless silence. The Citadel's "arms" began to open, and the crew watched, anxiously. Eventually a voice rang over the comm, but it wasn't Shepard. It was Admiral Hackett, ordering all fleets to disengage as the Crucible had been activated._

Garrus flickered awake after what he felt was a lifetime of sleep. He shifted himself and propped himself up on the med-table with his good arm. He ached all over as the medi-gel had worn off, and every joint and muscle in his body was stiff. The medbay was dark, save some tiny blinking lights from various medical appliances and consoles. The absence of the resonating humm of the Normandy's engine was somewhat unsettling. Garrus sat in the darkness for a short while, attempting to unwrap the events prior to his blackout. His memory was dark, and straining to remember wasn't working. He stumbled off the med-table, but grabbed back onto it to hold himself steady; we was weak, and very sore. "EDI," Garrus could only manage a dry whisper. His throat was parched and he tried to wet his tongue again before trying again. "EDI," his voice came back to him, though somewhat shaky.

"Garrus," EDI's voice rang over the intercom, "I will send Dr. Chakwas down immediately."

Garrus shook his head, "EDI, where is everyone? Where is Shepard? It's dark in here." The med-bay lights flooded the room, forcing Garrus to shield his eyes in order to adjust. He started to lumber his way out of the medbay towards the elevator. Dr. Chakwas, EDI and Tali met him as the elevator doors opened, and helped him inside. "Where are we?" Garrus croaked, "We've stopped? Did Shepard-" The sharp, harrowing flash of Shepard being enveloped in the reaper's red ray jolted Garrus back to full awareness. "Where are we!? We need to go get her!" Tali put her hand on Garrus' arm, but didn't say anything. Garrus looked down at her, "I...I left her. She was alone."

The elevator stopped at the CIC and Garrus stumbled through the doors faster than they could open, knocking his injured arm on the door and stooping over in pain. He turned around to face them again, and was met by Chakwas' shining a scanner into his eye, he attempted to swat her away. "Garrus," she said concerned, "You've suffered some critical injuries to your chest and shoulder, I think you should sit down and rest."

Garrus's mandibles flared angrily, "We need to go back for Shepard. She was hit by a Reaper just before we left. We don't even know if she made it to the Crucible!" The three crew members looked at Garrus strangely, he fumed with frustration, but then paused. "Wait," Garrus gently took Dr Chakwas by the arm and pulled her from the elevator into the light. "Your eyes…" He observed, perplexed. Her eyes had a light-green sheen where the irises were blue before. At closer examination, she seemed to pulse gently with the faint green glow in a peculiar pattern across her skin. "Spirits…" Garrus breathed in amazement. He looked to EDI, she had the same. He looked at his own hands, and turned them over in astonishment. They too had what looked like a synthetic sheen, softly pulsating. He looked at Tali, "My eyes?" She nodded.

EDI spoke first, "Shepard made it to the Crucible, Garrus." Garrus shot his attention back to EDI.

"She made it! She made it." The hopefulness in his voice seemed to make the others sad. Garrus picked up on this, "But…" he waited for EDI to continue.

"Garrus, we believe she had to choose. To choose a fate for all of us, not just the Reapers. What she chose didn't kill the Reapers, but we believe it's because it was an alternative to something sinister. She chose this," EDI held out her hands to present the odd glow on her body, "It did something to me. To all of us."

Garrus looked around, the rest of the crew surrounded them; eyes aglow with the unique green hue. "What did it do, exactly?" Garrus asked cautiously. He didn't' feel any different, besides sore everywhere.

EDI took a moment to process her thoughts, "We're not entirely sure exactly, but the most distinctive change as far as I can tell, is that I'm no longer server-based. I am alive, Garrus."

Garrus' eyes widened with bewilderment, "You mean...you're aware? Er, not that you weren't before, but you know. You're not..an AI? You're...EDI?" EDI took another moment to think about what Garrus said, she seemed to land on accepting the conclusion as a compliment and let herself a small smile.

"I'd say so, yes. It's what all synthetic life strive to achieve; to know what it is to be truly alive. Whatever Shepard did within the Crucible, it affected the entire galaxy. It is said even the Geth have full awareness...what they would consider "enlightenment". Reports indicate the Reapers are no longer a threat, and have somewhat been "rewritten" or even "released" from their original programming. They are peaceful, Garrus. We didn't believe it at first either, until the Crucible was engaged, and the Reapers stopped fighting altogether to begin repairing the devastation."

Garrus took it in for a moment; he had many questions, but the burning issue on his mind was how to retrieve Shepard. "We need to go back for her," Garrus repeated. "If she succeeded, she can't be…" Garrus' voice cracked and his throat tightened again, "We just need to find her, alright?"

The crew members looked to the ground, as if guilty. EDI continued gently, "The Alliance returned back to the Earth and the Citadel the moment they realized what had happened; that the Reapers who no longer a threat. Getting Shepard out of the Crucible was the first and foremost objective. Garrus... Shepard is gone."

Garrus held in a whimper, and his knees almost buckled. He felt so exhausted. He was tired of hearing Shepard was dead. He went two years before finding out Shepard had come back to life after the Collector attack. He had finally overcome the devastation of her death once after the Collector attack, and then she popped up again on Omega only to save him from certain demise. He thought he saw her die to the reaper on Earth. Then he found out that couldn't even stop her from activating the Crucible. She saved the entire galaxy, and she was supposed to come out of it with a few cuts and bruises, like always... But she's gone.

The Commander had once explained the Human concept of Karma while they lay together in her quarters, comfortably intertwined. He knew there was no such thing. If there were, she would be alive, and revered throughout the entire galaxy as their savior. They would retire together near an ocean; somewhere warm. They would hold a proper ceremony for Mordin to let him rest on the coast, his grave would be an intricately placed mound of seashells...

The pictures of this rolled through his mind, giving him a split second of comfort. The crew waited patiently for Garrus to respond. He looked up and inhaled, regaining his militant stance. "I need to see her then. Her body. We need to put her to rest."

EDI and Tali looked at each other uneasily, and Garrus ground his teeth. "What? What is it?"

Tali answered this time, her voice was shaky; her bond with the Commander was as strong as a sibling, or even more so, Garrus reflected. "When EDI said Shepard is gone" Tali began, "...she means we cannot find her. They're investigating the Crucible now, but there doesn't seem to be any trace of her. They found the bodies of Admiral Anderson and who they think may be the Illusive man. They're trying to track down Miranda Lawson to identify him. It looks like...it looks like they shot each other."

Garrus' mandibles flared, "That bastard. I only wish he was alive so I could wring the smoke right out of his withered little lungs myself. Why the hell was he there? Did he do something to Shepard?"

Tali shook her head, "We don't know yet, I'm sorry Garrus. We're waiting to hear from Admiral Hackett; he's volunteered to keep us informed."

Garrus looked around at the surrounding crew; their skin gently pulsing with the eerie green glow. It was odd, but he was hell-bent on getting answers about Shepard. More information about this anomaly could wait.

"Alright," He said, his voice militant again, "Why aren't we on our way to the Citadel now?"

EDI answered for him, "We did not know what to expect when the Crucible was detonated. Once we the Crucible was engaged, Admiral Hackett ordered the fleets to disengage and meet at the rendezvous point; not far from this star cluster. Joker waited as long as he could, but Shepard wasn't responding. We had to force him to leave, Garrus, otherwise the Normandy crew might have died" EDI added, noting the look on Garrus's face. "We were trying to race what we thought was some sort of EMP blast; we did not know what it was capable of, besides what it was theoretically supposed to do to the Reapers, so we had to leave. When Joker had the Normandy hit FTL, the blast was still following right on our tail. We managed to take a few relays towards the fleet rendezvous point, until the blast finally caught up. It rushed through the Normandy without causing any visible damage to her, or the crew, but it destroyed the next relay right before our eyes, and we could see the blast moving onwards through the galaxy to the next one, light years away. We had no choice but to land here in the Typhon system for fuel and repair the damage from the battle with the Reapers above Earth. We were all concerned about the effect the blast had on us. I immediately felt different, more aware of the people, emotions... I could feel _touch_, Garrus." EDI placed her hand on Garrus' arm, in hopes to comfort him as much as she felt she needed comforting too.

"The organic crew on the ship also showed signs of being affected by the blast as well, as you can see. We're not sure yet how it has affected everyone, but in no way does it seem negative, from what we've seen so far. They've shown some signs of a higher awareness as well, and at first we feared it was some form of mass indoctrination; but their personalities have stayed the same and there is no evidence of the side effects of Reaper or Leviathan indoctrination, or otherwise. Once Joker and I managed to get the comm channel tied in with a nearby colony comm-station, we got a hold of Admiral Hackett. He told us most of the fleet made it to the rendezvous point, and were on their way back to the Citadel to find Shepard. Engineers Donnelly and Daniels were confident they could get the Normandy back up and running within a couple days, and that there was no reason to send a rescue ship at this time. James and Cortez took the shuttle to the nearest colony to stock up on as much EZO as possible. They've made a few trips, and want to be sure we can make it back to the Sol system without issue."

Garrus sighed deeply and sadly, "Thank you, EDI," he put his free hand on her shoulder, and looked around at the crew. "Thank you, everyone. Without the diligence, courage, and sheer determination of this crew, we wouldn't have made it out alive. We will give our Commander the peace she deserves," his throat tightened, but he refused to let his voice waver. He let the wave of sorrow pass silently, and continued addressing the crew professionally, "But first we repair, and prepare ourselves for the journey home. Without our Commander, and without you, there would be no home to return to."

The crew responded to Garrus with a solemn but respectful salute, and returned to their stations. He turned back to Tali, EDI and Dr. Chakwas. "I think I'll have that rest now," he admitted. He had no intention of resting, but he needed to be alone. Chakwas nodded, and motioned him to the elevator. He stood as tall and stern as he could, trying not to show that his sorrow and injury were weighing him down. He passed Tali, who rested her hand on his back as he made his way into the elevator. Dr Chakwas selected the floor, and Garrus looked up at her, puzzled.

She smiled warmly at him, a trait Garrus learned to truly appreciate of the human race. "Take the Commanders quarters for now, Garrus. You need peace and quiet. I'll bring up some more medi-gel soon, and some rations if you need."

Garrus felt it would be good manners to decline, but it's all he wanted. To be alone, and close to Shepard's things.

The fishtank bubbled joyfully as Garrus stepped into the Captain's Cabin. He stopped to watch the fish, floating weightlessly, untouched by strife or any awareness of the world beyond their Plexiglas walls. He smirked at himself coyly for envying them, and tapped the feeding button. He wanted to stop feeling sorry for himself; he didn't feel he deserved it. His brow-plate furrowed as he felt a pang of guilt. It should have been him running to that Reaper beam, disappearing off the face of the Earth.

Shepard confessed her love for him before she ordered him to leave with the Normandy. He wished he'd defied her; stood up straight, and pushed by, dashing for the beam and leaving her behind in the safety of the Normandy. He was critically injured, and knew it wasn't possible at the time, but for some reason he didn't expect her to go alone. He didn't know what he could have done, but the vision of her running towards the beam on her own played hauntingly in his mind over and over again.

Garrus sat down on the bed and picked up a datapad. It had a report of the last mission they were on before the fleets moved in on Earth: infiltrating the Cerberus base, ending in a bloody battle against the assassin Kai Leng. Garrus reflected on the mission; _Spirits, it was fun_, he thought.

He felt sheepish for thinking so, but when on missions with the Commander, their synergy on the battlefield was incredible; he also got more satisfaction than he should admit wreaking havoc on the Illusive Man's investments. It also allowed Garrus his moment. One moment; a split second where there was calm, and he could look at Shepard when she didn't notice. It could be while she was gathering intel, overriding a console, or simply reloading her rifle. He savored those moments as quick as possible, so as not to let his guard down, or his Commander down. Somehow managing to remember them in slow-motion; he detailed every minor movement she made, the way she looked when she was thinking, or the curve of her jaw as she clenched and relaxed it while pulling the trigger. He stashed these moments away in his memory, like a loving family would treasure their photo-vids. They were his most precious possession.

Turning the lights off, and lying down, Garrus placed the datapad on his bandaged chest. He didn't know why, but it comforted him. The blue reflection from the aquarium oscillated peacefully on the ceiling as he looked up. The swaying and intertwining of the strings of light encouraged him to doze off.

_The darkness of sleep enveloped Garrus; the walls of the Captain's quarters moved away from him, leaving him in a silent, black void. He looked around, peering through the darkness. He thought he saw a faint light through the pitch dark; light years away. He couldn't move his arms or legs, but he willed himself towards the light. He didn't think it was working at first, but the light inched closer. It was still so far away, though. He felt like it would take years to get there, but something pushed him onward. He willed himself harder, and harder; the small light becoming larger. He couldn't make out what it was. He thought at first it was a star, but he could almost feel it, as if it were conscious of him, and it wished him closer. His resolve was strong; he felt like he knew what it was, but he didn't want to admit it until he saw it. It would be too much for him. Yet he pushed himself closer, or was he pulling the light to him? Either way, he was somehow removing the space between himself and the light. He wanted to go faster, and he did. Until he was speeding through his dream at break-neck speed; tumbling towards the warm light. _

_Garrus reached out with his consciousness, as if it were his arm, trying to get only a little bit closer. The light started to flicker, and he began slowing down. "No." he could only think the words, but he knew he was waking up. He struggled to delve into his dream again, but the more he struggled, the more he awakened. _

_A split moment before he returned to reality, he heard it, "Garrus," she whispered to him._

His eyes shot open, Garrus jolted up in the bed knocking the datapad to the ground. He looked around frantically. Empty. The aquarium bubbled happily as the fish darted at floating flakes of food; he frowned at them and got out of bed to make his way down to the CIC.


	2. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 2

**Notes for you!**

_I have...a LOT more story to write. I'm really hoping you'll enjoying it! It's satisfying to me only because I need it to continue, and I have no other means of it happening other than writing it myself. Again, I don't write a lot, so I hope it'll suffice! I'm doing my best to stay true to the characters written by BioWare; Shepard is my own though, but I'm hoping she's relatable enough to you that it doesn't ruin it. I'm still fleshing out Garrus's reaction to the Synthesis, loss of Shepard, as well as building up to the upcoming events._

_There may or may not be kissing in this one! RUDE!_

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The elevator doors to the CIC hissed open and Garrus stepped out. The deck was bustling with crewmembers, all making preparations and calculations for their journey to the Sol system. Though it was possible to make the trip home without the relays in tact, it was still dangerous; every precaution had to be made to ensure they made it to Earth safely.

Comm Specialist Traynor looked around at Garrus, and quickly typed a few more words into her console before turning to him with a salute. She looked up at him nervously, "Garrus, you're looking well," her verdant eyes grazed over his bandaging.

Garrus rotated his shoulder, "I actually feel better, now that you mention it," he removed his arm from the sling and massaged his ribs under his arm. He was wholly surprised the pain was no more, save some bruising.

Traynor cleared her throat timidly, Garrus wondered if seeing him without his armor made her uncomfortable. "Admiral Hackett has kindly been keeping us in the loop as to what is happening at the Citadel; they say it's possible this Synthesis has given us some interesting...beneficial side effects. Many injured troops are recovering faster than expected; we suspect the Synthesis has improve health regeneration across the board."

Garrus raised his brow plate at Traynor, "Interesting indeed...the benefits seem somewhat subjective though, depending on whether you're fighting against a Krogan or not." Traynor looked at him blankly, "It was a joke, Traynor."

Samantha jolted and awarded Garrus with a tardy, and very awkward over-laugh. She seemed to acknowledge this and cut herself off mid-laugh. This made Garrus chuckle, and Traynor was visibly relieved. She gave him a thoughtful gaze, "Garrus, it's nice to see you smile. We never got to see you often up here, but your presence is always welcome," her face turned grim, "Losing the Commander has been hard on all of us...I can't imagine what it's doing to you...I'm sorry I shouldn't even be going there. We haven't even got a chance to mourn her; we're so caught up in making sure we can get back to Earth in one piece."

Garrus nodded solemnly, "Thanks, Traynor. If anyone can get us back home sans-relay, it's Joker and this crew. By the way...where are we, exactly?"

Samantha raised her eyebrows, "Oh! Of course," she turned to her console and the galaxy map zoomed into the Typhon system, "Aite, originally a human colony, but now peppered with lawless colonies; mostly a refuge for what you would consider escaped rogues; smugglers, pirates, that sort of like," Garrus gave Traynor a look, "Oh!" she continued, "We were worried at first as well! I mean we need supplies of EZO to get out of here, and Aite essentially was abandoned by Council government and funding after finding out the orbit of the moon is unstable - likely to crash into the planet within the next few decades. Not an ideal place to lend your investments, as you can imagine. It's sparsely populated, but perfectly inhabitable for most species; the overgrown jungle making it an ideal place for smugglers and pirates to hide. However whether it be the Synthesis, or their pure gratefulness for saving the galaxy, the nearby colonies are more than happy to supply us with what we need. I don't think we've run into any pirates yet anyway; the colonists are pretty much on their own on this planet, but they put their differences aside to supply us with provisions."

Samantha looked very proud of herself, and Garrus nodded at her, "Much appreciated, Comm Specialist; I see why Shepard didn't want to give you back to the Alliance," Traynor allowed herself a dignified grin.

Garrus stepped to the galaxy map and studied it for a moment, "How long do we have until we can get out of here?"

Traynor turned to her console to do a few calculations, "The Engineering crew says they can prep the engines for long-range travel in another day. We're almost fully stocked on enough EZO to get us to Earth, and then-some. EDI?"

"Yes, Samantha?" EDI's voice rang over the CIC intercom.

"EDI! How informal!" Traynor said with a giggle, and EDI shot back.

"Samantha, you've presented a total of 14 romantically-related advances towards me during your recruitment to the Normandy. Majority of which were during an alcohol-induced shore-leave on the Citadel; I believe that's enough to justify me using your first name."

Joker took this moment to chime in, "Hey, I have no problem putting these two in a room together and seeing what happens."

Traynor's jaw dropped dramatically, trying to hide her blush. "EDI, can you just tell me how long you think it will take to get back to Earth?" Traynor looked up at Garrus, mortified.

EDI's voice returned after a moment, "I calculate about another 1.3 days of preparation, and 4 days, 3 hours and 53 minutes of travel time at FTL, without delay. We should arrive at Earth in approximately a weeks time"

"Thank you EDI," Garrus replied; Traynor was busy covering her red face.

"Garrus," EDI added, "Dr Chakwas would like to see you in the medical bay." Garrus turned to Traynor and saluted; Traynor saluted back, still unable to subdue her visible embarrassment. "Thanks again, EDI, I'll be right down. Excellent work, Traynor," the Comm Specialist couldn't return to her console faster.

Garrus arrived in Chakwas' med-bay; she had been recording a report on the suspected effects the Synthesis had on health regeneration; "Turian, Male, Early-to-Mid stages of adulthood," she saw Garrus enter and motioned him in and to sit down on a med-table. He lifted himself up on the nearest one, Chakwas moved over and began scanning him, continuing her report. "Initial injury recorded: fractured ribs on right-side, as well as fractured carapace above right-shoulder in addition to deep bruising and minor lacerations on lower torso, arms, legs and neck. According to the public medical database provided to the Council by the Turian embassy, recovery time for these injuries should generally take around," she glanced at her datapad, "5 weeks; perhaps 4 with constant bed-rest and medi-gell application. After Synthesis, subject seems to have fast-forwarded regeneration to roughly 20 hours, and displays fully-healed ribs and carapace fracture. Bruises are still present, but not as prominent. Further research is required to update database further. Garrus."

Chakwas lifted the turian's chin and scanned his neck, "Remarkable," she said under her breath. "You're technically back to full health after a nights rest; how do you feel?"

Garrus shrugged in agreement, "No complaints, doctor."

Chakwas frowned, "Garrus, I know we're all excited about this new and exciting change; it's absolutely remarkable and changes everything we knew about each other; about ourselves. We haven't forgotten the Commander though. She will have a ceremony that will present her deeds to the entire galaxy, assuming there's a soul out there who doesn't already know what she's done for all of us."

Garrus looked down, but appreciated the doctor's words nonetheless. "Thanks, doctor," he said, looking back up at her. Chakwas' veridian eyes met his, "It's so odd," he started, "this glow."

Chakwas sighed thoughtfully and nodded in agreement. "It's certainly something. Overly dramatic for my tastes. I could have used all the benefits without the eerie green-glow, but I can't complain. Some people believe the visual side-effect will wear off one day. I think we'll get used to it, but I won't lie, I will miss my brilliant blue eyes." This made Garrus laugh in appreciation, and Chakwas returned a grin. "Well, it doesn't look like you need any more medical attention from me, unless you start feeling like you're turning into an elcor from the inside out."

Garrus let out another chuckle, and replied monotonously, "Confidently: my thanks, doctor. I prefer my beauty to radiate from the inside out anyway."

Chakwas snorted and pushed at him blithely, "If you get a chance, grab some fresh-air; it'll be good for you," and she returned to her desk to continue recording her report; "Subject has ghastly facial scars; it is unknown whether the benefits of the Synthesized regeneration will heal these, but they've somehow managed to coax a certain military hero into his bed. It is assumed the subject keeps these scars intentionally to lure his female mates in."

Garrus walked out of the medical bay, grinning.

Fetching his casual attire from his locker, Garrus removed his bandaging and made his way back up to the Captains Cabin. He started a shower and stepped into the warm cascade. He closed his eyes and let the hot water wash over his face and fringe; his forearms crossed above his head, resting on the shower wall.

His mind instantly raced back to the moment he left Shepard alone on the battlefield, dashing towards the beam just before the Reaper's ray met her. He felt foolish for allowing himself to dwell on it; it made him feel terribly guilty, and he knew there was nothing he could do about it now. Plus, the Commander made it to the Crucible anyway to complete her mission she was so hell-bent on finishing.

Instead, he strained to pull his mind from that moment, and placed it into the few times he was able to have alone with her. Once he was in that mindset, it was easier than he expected to stay there. The pleasant torrent of water may have helped, and his mind delved into the first night he was ever intimate with Shepard. He chuckled at the memory.

He remembered her initial invitation; it took him so off guard. He hadn't considered in any way, shape or form they would be compatible for a night of romance and intimacy.

Shepard seemed so confident; nothing was awkward for her. During the build-up to the night, he kept turning the vids he had found off the extra-net on and off. He'd begin watching one, genuinely curious as to what to expect, and more importantly what Shepard would be expecting of him. It would always start with a female human that seemed overly excited about the male human's genitalia. The female always seemed too fake in the interaction; he felt he may have actually been somewhat aroused if she seemed more genuine. He'd then feel dirty for even thinking he could be aroused by a human. He'd then feel guilty about feeling dirty about it; she was human herself, afterall. He'd then turn off the vid and think about Shepard. He'd never seen her naked, but he didn't think she'd look anything like the female from the vid.

He was slightly fascinated with the orb-like masses the females had on their chests; Asari had them too, and he thought they were odd, but not at all unattractive. They seemed like they would be pleasant to touch, and then he'd feel dirty all over again, following the twinge of guilt he'd get from even considering touching Shepard would be dirty in any way.

_When the "special" night came, he'd worked himself up so much that he was a nervous wreck. Not only that, but they had a suicidal mission looming over their heads for the next day. When he arrived at Shepard's quarters, he almost made a royal ass of himself. She immediately calmed him; her mere presence reassured him that everything they were doing felt right. _

_They spent the first hour talking about each other and about anything, really: stories from their pasts, finding things they had in common, past romances. It wasn't difficult, or weird; their synergy with conversation was just as good as it was on the battlefield. They shared a couple glasses of wine; not enough to get drunk, but enough to relax, and forget all the strife in their lives, just for a few hours. _

_After a while Shepard stood up in front of Garrus, and looked down at him, gently touching his face; he put his hand over his and enjoyed the moment. He stood up and put his face inches from hers. At that moment, he wanted to do something; he wasn't sure what, but he had some sort of odd urge. He must have been making a funny face, because it made Shepard laugh, which made Garrus conscious of himself again. _

_"Were you going to kiss me, Garrus? Do turians do that?" _

_Garrus cocked his head, and thought about it; he didn't' even recall the humans in those vids kiss. He even only knew what it was from passing human or Asari couples on the Citadel. _

_"Actually no…" he started, and a very slight look of disappointment quickly breezed over Shepard's face, though she continued to smile up at him. "But that now explains exactly what it is I've been wanting to do," Garrus tilted his head down, closer to hers. Shepard's eyes lit up with a smile, and she lifted her lips to his. She placed her lips over his mouth, and it was the most alien, most pleasant thing he'd experienced. He had no idea such a thing could feel so nice. Her lips moved softly over his mouth, so gentle and warm, he closed his eyes._

_"Uh...Garrus?" He opened his eyes and saw Shepard looking back up at him with a sullen expression, followed by an amused smile, "So are you going to be contributing to this exchange? Or is it customary for the females to do all the work?" _

_Garrus wasn't sure what she meant at first, but then realized he was simply expecting Shepard to kiss him while his face stayed un-moving. He cleared his throat nervously; he'd been enjoying the act so much, he didnt' even consider returning the favour - he probably looked like an ass. He wasn't sure how he'd fare, as his mouth wasn't designed for such an interaction. He tilted his head down to hers, and attempted to take her lips gently with his. He was afraid the thin, leathery texture of his lips would turn her off, but on the contrary, she sighed pleasantly and pushed her mouth to his more firmly. They both spent some time fitting their mouths together with gentle movements; Shepard initially took the lead, but to her enjoyment, Garrus began getting the swing and rhythm of things, making small changes in movement and pace, and getting confident enough to start using his hands..._

"Garrus?" Joker's voice over the intercom jolted Garrus back to reality; he accidentally took an unexpected gulp full of water, and began spluttering and coughing. Joker continued cautiously, sounding confused, "Uh, sorry buddy; I'll make sure to get you some water-wings when we get back to Earth. Admiral Hackett would like to speak with you in the War Room. Also save the rest of us some warm water, will you? It's been a long ass day. Joker out."

Garrus grabbed a towel and dried himself off, briefly examining his body where his injuries were just yesterday. As Chakwas said, there were some bruising, but nothing near as critical as broken ribs. He also took a moment to closer examine his green eyes, and glowing shimmer under his skin.

The turian dressed into his casual gear, punched the feeding button on the Aquarium, and made his way down to the War Room, wondering what Hackett had in mind for him.


	3. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 3

_This is a bit of fluff before the true plot starts to solidify :]. Once the crew get to the Citadel, there will be some interesting turn in events! I'm trying to mingle the fluff with getting into the character's heads. I actually tried to write the events to fit with what happened during the Synthesis ending cut-scene. Hopefully it's not TOO fluffy, but it makes me happy and I hope you enjoy it as well! _

_Also THANK you, thank you for continuing the story! I know I seem overly enthusiastic, but again, this is my absolute first fan-fiction EVER, and it warms my heart to know even a handful of people are enjoying it. My goal is to write the characters as best I can so it's easier to hear their voice while reading it. Hope it works - at least a bit!_

* * *

The blue, pixelated form of Admiral Hackett flickered in and out of the War Room's Quantum Entanglement Communicator; his voice buzzing and unintelligible.

Garrus punched a few buttons on the console, which forwarded the link through the nearest Comm Station on the planet.

"Garrus," Hackett's voice echoed a bit of white noise, but it was as clear as it was going to be, "How fare things on the Normandy? Comm Specialist Traynor has been sending me reports every few hours; she says you should be arriving to Earth within the week."

Garrus nodded, "She did say that, yes." He wasn't sure what else to tell the Admiral; the crew knew more details than he did, since he missed the entire Synthesis and landing altogether before waking up in a daze. "How is Earth, Admiral?" Garrus asked after a moment.

Hackett sighed sadly, "The devastation is… nearly insurmountable. But after Commander Shepard activated the Crucible, whatever she did stopped the Reapers in their tracks. They turned around and began helping clean up their mess. We were all pretty suspicious at first, but after our collective of scientists learned more about the Synthesis, it's become obvious they're peaceful now. Doesn't make it easier to see them looming above you while you're trying to eat your lunch, though." The Admiral somehow could sense Garrus's tension, and answered the question without Garrus having to ask it, "Palaven is being rebuilt as we speak. It's suffered immense devastation as well, but after the Krogan arrived, they really slowed down the destruction the Reapers were causing. It allowed for more and more citizens to be evacuated."

This was satisfactory enough for Garrus; he knew would return eventually and track down his father and sister.

Admiral Hackett's image flickered in and out for moment as he addressed Garrus again, "Garrus, the Council would like to see you and the Normandy crew on the Citadel when you return to Earth. I believe they would like to extend their gratitude and award commendations."

Garrus provided a grateful salute to the Admiral, who returned one respectively. "Thank you, Admiral, I'm honored," Garrus meant to sound dignified, but his tone was sad.

Hackett picked up on this, "The loss of Commander Shepard is...significant. To the galaxy, and even to me personally. I considered her the most reliable being in the universe, as far as I knew. We will put her to rest, Vakarian. I know it doesn't sound like enough, but she will have a ceremony the entire galaxy will remember."

Garrus rested his hands on the console and looked down, unsure as to how to add to that; talking about it made his throat tighten, and he hated the idea of showing his pure sorrow to a decorated Admiral. He admired Hackett. He thought he'd make a great Turian. He didn't know if saying it aloud would be some sort of insult, so he refrained, but it was meant far from disrespect. Garrus also approved of Hackett's facial scar for obvious reasons.

Hackett continued, without forcing Garrus to have to say anything, "Garrus, the Alliance would also like to award the Normandy to you."

Garrus looked up, visibly confused, "Sir?"

Hackett nodded, "You are captain of the Normandy now, Vakarian. The Alliance thanks you for your consistent courage and reliability on countless missions with Commander Shepard."

Garrus rubbed his head behind his fringe, "Sir, I'm...more than honored...I just. I'm a Turian, and the Alliance is a Human institution...won't that cause some...disagreements?"

Hackett shook his head, "Garrus, if Shepard taught the galaxy one thing, it was that putting our differences aside only spawns great things. There's no more room in this galaxy for petty arguments; we need to move forward, and work together to use the gift Shepard left us to improve ourselves."

Garrus inhaled thoughtful and nodded in agreement, "You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear that, Admiral."

Hackett provided a dignified smile, "I think I have a better appreciation for that mentality than you think, Captain." The two exchanged salutes, and Garrus logged out of the channel.

Arriving back on the CIC, the crew were awaiting Garrus, and provided a humble applause for his promotion. Joker patted the turian on the back as he stepped to the platform above the Galaxy map. He supposed he should address the crew, now that he was Captain; the applause simmered down.

"I am honored...no...overjoyed, to have the pleasure of working with such a noble and courageous crew. There has never been a time where I've doubted your abilities. On the contrary, serving under Commander Shepard, I have seen some of the most amazing, most skilled, most batshit-insane things while working with you lot."

The crew cheered joyfully at this, and it made Garrus smile, "Once we arrive back to Earth, your families will have to wait just a little longer. The Citadel would like to award you all with commendations for your services."

The crew applauded again, but more of a solemn, respectful praise of gratitude.

"We will have some time then to pay our respects to Commander Shepard, and what she has done for all of us." Any crew members wearing caps removed them, and held them over their hearts.

"Alright," Garrus continued, trying to inject high spirits back into the room, "Let's get out of here. If we make it back to the Citadel in less than 5 days, I'm buying the entire crew a round." The crew clapped and hooted once again, saluted, and rushed back to their stations.

Garrus spent the next 40 minutes moving his belongings up to the Captain's Cabin, however he didn't replace any of Shepard's things with his. He kept a duffle bag next to the bed, and added his undamaged armor to Shepard's armor locker.

When he opened it, he found himself holding the sleeve of one of her back-up N7 suits. He shifted the material between his fingers, closing his eyes; constructing her face in his memory. Alowing a few moments to pass like this, he then inhaled solemnly and closed the locker.

"Captain," EDI's voice gently chimed over the intercom, "Liara was asking to see you in her quarters."

Garrus had almost even forgot Liara was on the ship; he hadn't seen her since before EDI dragged him back onto the Normandy on Earth. "I'll be right down," Garrus replied, and he took the elevator to the Crew Deck.

Arriving at Liara's quarters, he touched the console on the door, which turned orange, then green as Liara accepted the request; the door opened with a hiss.

Garrus stepped in; the wall of monitors followed him ominously as he walked to the end of the room where Liara sat. "Garrus," Liara stood up. Her voice was sad, but she seemed happy to see him. Garrus placed himself in the chair next to her, and Liara sat back down on the bed. Datapads were scattered across the mattress; Glyph zipped back and forth from datapad to datapad, scanning systematically.

"How are you, Liara?" Garrus started, his voice soft; it was very apparent Liara had been crying.

She looked up at him and offered a weak smile, "How long do you think she'll make us wait until she comes back from the dead this time, Garrus?" her words were more hopeful than bitter.

Garrus did not expect that. She didn't' mean it maliciously, but the words wrapped around his heart and his chest tightened. It's all he wanted; all he could ask for; that by some miracle Shepard would raise herself from the dead for all of them to laugh about those times that she died and then came back.

"I don't know what exhausts me more, Liara" Garrus lamented, "That she keeps dying... or that she keeps dying and then comes back after we've come to terms with it, only to die again."

Liara started crying softly, placing her face in her hands. Garrus moved over to the bed and put his arm around her. Glyph hovered over to him and started scanning him; Garrus swatted at the drone, annoyed.

He let Liara cry for a while, trying his best not to join her. He almost got angry as to how pathetic he seemed of late. He wondered if the crew though the same, or it was simply an old turian expectation to avoid showing emotions and he was being hard on himself.

Liara allowed herself a few more sniffs and then began wiping the tears from under her eyes. "Thank you, Garrus, I'm sorry."

Garrus gave Liara a quick squeeze before returning to his chair, "There's nothing wrong with mourning Shepard, Liara. She was our best friend. She would want us to be happy." Garrus believed his own words, but knew it was easier said than done.

Liara nodded, gratefully, "You're right. She's changed everything, Garrus. I've been gathering information on the Synthesis. A friend on the Citadel is forwarding me public information, as well as some not-so-public things. It's…fascinating, to say the least. Honestly Garrus, it's the only thing keeping me from going to bed, and not waking up for weeks."

Garrus knew exactly how she felt. "Why don't we go outside for some fresh, air, Liara?" Garrus stood up and offered her a hand.

Liara looked up at him, "I think you're right," she agreed, taking his hand, "I heard this world is beautiful."

Liara asked for a few minutes to freshen up. Garrus made his way to the Captains Cabin and put on his armor; he decided as captain he'd at least look the part, in respect.

"EDI," his words muffled as he pulled his shirt off over his head, but he heard the intercom blip, "invite the rest of the crew to a couple hours of free time. They've been working non-stop since we arrived here."

EDI responded, "They may suspect you're attempting to buy time in order avoid purchasing that round on the Citadel, Captain."

Garrus chuckled, "Nothing is going to stop me from buying them some drinks, EDI, just send word for me, please. And you don't have to call me captain."

"Yes, Captain," Garrus swore he could hear her saying that through a smile.

Garrus met Liara, Tali, Kaiden, EDI, and Joker on the CIC deck. Vega and Cortez stepped through the elevator doors behind Garrus a few moments later, and Traynor arrived after in her casual attire, followed by Donnely, Daniels and Chakwas.

Vega gave Garrus a rough smack on his shoulder, "Good to see you're back to normal, big guy. You were looking pretty rough back there on Earth."

Garrus shot James a friendly look, and turned to the rest of the crew, "Let's take a few hours to ourselves and get a good nights rest before heading back. You've all done a great job at preparing us for the return voyage. Grab a buddy," Traynor immediately grabbed Vega's forearm, who in return looked down at her, and then glared at Garrus as if it was his fault. Garrus grinned at him, "... and align your omni-tools to their channels in case you get lost. Also just don't get lost." The crew members smirked.

Vega chimed in, "Heya, when Cortez and I were shuttling to the nearest colony to collect the EZO, we flew over a nice little lagoon a couple minutes hike from here; waterfall and everything. We didn't think we'd get a chance to visit, but now that our Captain agreed to give us some time off AND buy us drinks when we get back, I vote to chill out there for a while."

Traynor let out a surprisingly loud "squee" sound at the notion. Garrus shrugged, "Well then, show us the way, mighty tour-guide."

Joker and EDI stepped out of the Normandy into the sunlight, warmth enveloped them. They took a moment to themselves to take in the view and appreciate the calm gifted to them after the events of the war. Joker pulled EDI in close, and she rested her head softly on his shoulder; the planet's moons looming overhead, and the shafts of sunlight warming their faces.

Garrus made his way out and stepped onto the bluff, taking in the view. He saw EDI and Joker in their loving embrace, and looked away. He wasn't worried that they'd be embarrassed, but Garrus would give anything right now to have what they were experiencing; and it hurt.

Vega pushed passed abruptly, and addressed the crew as they stepped out into the sunlight; the view was tremendous. The planet had mountainous torrs jetting from the earth, flocks of birds circled the peaks; only specs in the distance.

"Alright, compadres!" Vega shouted for the rest of the crew to hear, "Watch your step, stay with your buddy-" Traynor erupted a giggle and James continued, "and your orders are to enjoy yourselves - take advantage of it. We've got 4 days of travel time back to Earth starting tomorrow; then we can brood as much as we want."

James and Cortez lead the crew to the lagoon; it was spectacular.

Many crew members stripped to their undergarments and jumped into the water. Cortez and Vega took turns jumping off the waterfall, dropping 20 or so feet into the sapphire water. Liara seemed cautious, and was trying to get Chakwas' attention, mumbling something about "potential parasites". Glyph scanned the water near the shore and hovered back to Liara, confirming there was no threat of waterborne parasites. Traynor seemed to be trying to teach Tali how to play some sort of human beach-ball sport, which was going hilariously sideways (literally).

After removing his armor, as well as the top to his thermal suit, Garrus sat under a tree on the beach and propped himself up against the trunk, letting the sunshine warm his face and torso. He let his head rest back, and listened to the joyful echoes of the crew's voices bounce off of the bluffs around him. Eventually the sounds drowned out, and Garrus dozed off.

_When he opened his eyes, it was dark. He wondered at first if he just slept for too long, and nobody from the Normandy bothered waking him up. Then he realized where he was. The dark void he fell asleep to the last time. His heart pounded, he twirled around, peering through the pitch dark, looking for that little light. _

_He saw one. And then another. _Wait_, he thought, _those are stars_. _

_An infinite twinkle of stars appeared around him in the vast void. He floated in space, unable to control a thing. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but he didn't feel frightened. He was only disappointed that familiar light was nowhere to been seen. Then he heard it. It was so faint, but he knew the voice. _

_"Garrus…" _

_He pivoted around. _

_"Garrus…" _

_He spun around the other way. _

_"__WHERE ARE YOU?" he shouted, but his voice was almost non-existent in the void. _

_Then he felt it. The warmth of the light. It was in front of him, billions of light years away. Without considering any further, he beelined for it. He went much faster than last time, and he transcended the space between it and him, faster than light; faster than anything has ever travelled before. "_

_Garrus…" _

_He willed himself faster, as fast as he could possibly go. __"I'm coming," he whispered desperately; his only wish was to get to that light._

_The stars warped past him at breakneck speed; they blurred and turned to streaks of brilliant light around him, creating a tunnel towards his destination. _

_"Please...just let me get see. I need to know!" The light moved in on him fast, enveloping him. He did it - he got to his destination._

_ The light washed over him; blinding him and eradicating all darkness. _

_"Where are you?" he whispered again, trying to pry his eyes open; they were forcing themselves shut to block out the blinding brightness. _

_"Garrus…" the voice was so close. He forced his eyes open, they adjusted slowly. _

_She was there. Her face so close to his; her eyes shut. _

_"Spirits…" he whispered, "You're here…". He wanted to reach out, to touch her face, but he couldn't__. __Now that he was here, he could only watch her. _

_Her eyes under her lids began to move, and her eyes fluttered open. She locked eyes with Garrus, and they shone bright with a loving smile. Her eyes had always been bright green, but they glowed joyfully with the synthetic hue. _

_His heart hurt, he couldn't reach out to her. She was right in front of him, but somehow so far away. _

_"You found me," she said, her voice so loving and hopeful. _

_"What do I do, Shepard?" Garrus asked her, his voice cracking "How do I get you back?" _

_Shepard started to look sad, like she had to leave. _

_It was getting dark again. The light receded, and the stars began popping up all around him again. Her image began dissolving away._

_Garrus did everything he could to reach out and grab her, but it was useless. __"No… no, no. NO!"_

"SHEPARD!" Garrus woke with a shock; fresh, cold air breezed over his face.

Liara was knelt over Garrus, looking very concerned, "Garrus?! Are you alright?" An orange sunset sky with violet clouds lit up behind Liara, making her face a silhouette and her worried green eyes glow brighter. The enormous moon reflected a peaceful hue.

Garrus stood up faster than he expected, somewhat dazed, rubbing his hand along his fringe. "I'm...I'm fine," he said, trying to avoid talking about what just happened.

Liara's forhead crinkled with worry, "It's late, Garrus, most of the crew went back to the Normandy. We'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon."

Garrus grabbed his armor and hauled it back to the Normandy, accompanied by Liara and any remaining crew members from the lagoon.

When they arrived at the Normandy, most of the crew were making their way to their quarters to sleep for the night; a few looked a bit sunburnt; most looked worn out, but everyone looked content.

Liara escorted Garrus to the elevator and she punched the button for the Captains Cabin. The elevator doors opened, and Liara stepped out with Garrus into the small hall dividing the elevator and the Cabin. He put his hand on the console, and the Cabin door opened.

Before he was able to enter, Liara's asked in a soft voice, "Garrus...do you want to talk? About your dream?"

Garrus didn't turn back, but answered, "I...I rather not. Not today, Liara. Thank you."

She gave him an understanding nod he couldn't see, and she stepped back into the elevator. "May your dreams bring you peace, Garrus Vakarian."

The elevator doors closed, and Garrus was left to himself.

He stepped into the Cabin. The rolling bubbles of the aquarium provided the only sound, and he was thankful for it. Garrus showered and then stood in front of the mirror for a while, his hands resting on the sink.

He looked at himself; green eyes staring back. He began to grind his teeth.

"Get a god-damned hold of yourself, Vakarian," he said to his reflection; poison in his words. "She's dead. You go insane now, and you lose everything she died for. Shes DEAD." He punched the wall next to the mirror, leaving a dent in the metal. It took himself by surprise, and he immediately felt a pang of guilt afterwards.

Garrus brought himself to the bed, massaging his freshly bruised hand, and lay on the opposite side Shepard would have preferred. He put a hand on her pillow. He was torn as to whether or not he wanted to sleep.

If he had another dream, would she be there? He felt like simply staring at her would be enough for him, but he knew better.

Would the dream continue to haunt him? If he let it, he knew it could make him go crazy. The only thing that bothered him more than his lack of willpower, was the fact that it didn't seem like a dream at all.

It felt so unbelievably real, which disturbed him the most.


	4. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 4

_The chapter starts out with some fluffy nautiness. If you don't want to read it, I put it in italics because it's a flashback :]. You can skip past it if you please! (I know you won't though :P)_

_The plot/theory starts actually taking place in this chapter. I'm really, REALLY excited to write more for you. I hope you enjoy! There's TONS more to come._

* * *

Garrus did dream about Shepard that night, but it wasn't the vivid, hauntingly real experience he'd had previously.

His memory allowed a replay of all his favourite moments with her. The images bounced back and forth in no particular order: A flash of Shepard laughing, then another of her holding Garrus's face in both hands, one of him dipping her on a dancefloor, that look she gave him when he landed an impossible head-shot; a moment of the Commander reloading before they both shot up from cover and enthusiastically unloaded their rifle clips into a lumbering Cerberus heavy-mech. Little snippets of memories rolled through his mind, until he landed on one he was extremely grateful for.

_It had been the night before their impending mission to the Collector base. Shepard had taught Garrus how to kiss, and she let him practice as much as he wanted that night. _

_After quickly mastering her lips, he moved down to her neck and collar bones, making sure to cover every inch of her skin along the way. She tilted her head back and to let him do what he pleased, sighing pleasantly. _

_He managed to accidentally tickle her a few times with his mandibles as he brushed over the exposed parts of her neck. The noises she made were intoxicating to him, and he wanted more. _

_At this point, Garrus knew he was doomed; he was falling in love with his Commander. He backed away for a moment to look down at Shepard, her eyes were shut, her head tilted back and she looked utterly content. She opened her eyes and beamed back up at him before resting her hand on his chest. _

_He didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. Garrus took the hand Shepard had placed on his chest with his own, and pulled her in again for an embrace, tighter than before. He kissed her on the lips again; even longer than before. _

_She moaned, and Garrus picked her up in his arms, and took her to the bed. He sat her down gently and she removed her top to reveal her bra. Standing over her, he thought it looked fantastic, and pulled his own shirt off over his head. _

_He silently compared the textures of their bodies; it made him feel somewhat self-conscious. She was so soft and smooth; everything a curve or contour. He was rough and angular. Everything about him seemed so jagged compared to her. _

_"__Shepard I...I'm sorry if I scratch you. Or you know...well I don't want it to be unpleasant for you." _

_Shepard looked up at Garrus with a smirk. She started moving her hands over his stomach as he stood over her; exploring the softer skin between his plates and on his sides. _

_This made him shudder. He wasn't used to such intimate interaction. The times he had sexual relations with other turian females were fun, and at those times was exactly what he expected and wanted. Turian relations were more casual; the lovemaking he had with turian females felt more like business than what he was feeling then with Shepard. Pleasurable business, nonetheless leaving both parties satisfied...but this was...so different._

"_Garrus," Shepard grinned up at him, "How much have we been through together?" _

_Garrus didn't expect the question, and had to think about it for a moment, "More than I've ever been through with anyone else...and that's saying a lot." He was happy with his answer. _

_Shepard looked up at him playfully, "Then why are you worried about giving me a little scratch? You out of anyone should know what I'm capable of handling." _

_The tone of her voice was surprisingly arousing, and Shepard pulled him down on top of her for another kiss. Garrus went a little wild at this point. He pulled Shepard up further onto the bed, and began kissing her everywhere he could. Shepard didn't seem to have expected it either, and slipped out a moan, which made Garrus move more frantically, grabbing at his favorite spots: her thighs, hips, breasts. _

_"Jesus, Vakarian," Shepard shuddered under her breath._

The intercom in the room pinged, and Garrus awoke reluctantly from his dream. He stretched his legs to the length of the bed, and looked over at the clock. It was 4am.

He sighed sleepily and put his head back down on the pillow, then lifted it again to look down towards the end of the bed. He was very visibly aroused; the the sheets peaked to a suggestive tent. "Ah shit," he hissed.

He bunched up the sheets around his waist to hide it, and propped himself up with one arm, rubbing his fringe with the other. "What is it!?" he called groggily, hoping whoever was on the other side of the door didn't burst through uninvited.

"Garrus," Liara's worried voice was muffled behind the heavy door.

Garrus rubbed an eye with his palm, "Liara? It's so early, can't it wait for morning?"

He heard Liara sniff sadly on the other side of the door, "I'm sorry Garrus. It's about Shepard."

Garrus punched the door control on the bed-side table; the door hissed open and Liara stepped in, looking distressed.

"I'm so sorry, Garrus," she repeated sincerely, while making her way further into the room. She was holding a few datapads to her chest. She sat down on the chair next to the bed. Garrus was glad she didn't turn on the lights; there was enough emitting from the fishtank, and he wasn't fond of the idea of Liara seeing him aroused.

He pulled the folds of the sheets further up around his waist, feeling quite exposed, despite the fact he was mostly covered. "It's fine, Liara, just tell me what you're upset about." He was expecting more tears, more mourning. He didn't really mind; as bad as it made him feel, it was nice to connect with someone else on an emotional level regarding Shepard's death.

Liara inhaled and exhaled deeply, as if preparing for a long-winded explanation. "Garrus, I had a dream about Shepard."

Garrus gawked at Liara for a while before he realized he should probably say something. "If it was anything like the one I was just having, I really need to hear this."

This made Liara emit a soft giggle. "I promise I wouldn't have woken you up in the middle of the night for that type of dream."

Garrus grinned, but he was genuinely curious as to what Liara meant; without hesitation she delved right into it; "Garrus, Asari believe that when someone dies, their energy returns to the consciousness of the universe. All Is One, we say."

Garrus shifted uncomfortably, for more than one reason.

Liara continued; "I've had many friends die in this war. Occasionally, if it were an Asari close enough to me, I would dream of them. It wouldn't be of anything ominous; just past interactions with them, or wonderful conversations we'd have together. It's a good way to pass the mourning, and a way to gain peace of mind."

Garrus stared at Liara, puzzled, "Liara, I don't think-" but the Asari raised a gentle hand, stopping him from continuing.

She closed her eyes and sighed, "This wasn't like one of those dreams, Garrus."

The Turian's mandibles twitched in agitation; he realized he was holding his breath. "How do you mean?" he asked sternly.

Liara locked eyes with Garrus, "Shepard was there, Garrus. In my dream. I found her and she was really, really there." Tears formed under Liara's green eyes and reflected the blue glow of the fishtank. One dropped from her cheek onto a datapad, twinkling as it fell.

Garrus was speechless, almost furious (his arousal encouraged from his dream had subsided). He already had to deal with his own vivid dreams of the Commander appearing before him, which would make it damned near impossible for him to cope with her passing. But now Liara is coming to him with similar experiences, making this whole mess so much more difficult.

Garrus swallowed; his throat went dry and he addressed Liara after a few moments of thought; "Did this dream happen to start out in...somewhere in outer space? Where you floating?"

Liara's eyes widened, "And there was a light, Garrus. I knew you had one too, I knew it! I felt it. And the look on your face when you woke up back at the lagoon; I've never seen you like that before."

Garrus shifted in embarrassment. "What do you think it means?" he asked her, straightening his back, trying to look dignified.

Liara started to look excited, and grabbed one of her datapads. "I couldn't get back to sleep," she whispered as she tapped at the orange screen; her green eyes darted back and forth while taking in the information. "The dream was so vivid, and it felt like Shepard was right in front of me. I couldn't believe for a second she was dead after that."

Garrus felt a twinge of shame; he had the same dream, and the same gut feeling. However he was so intent on brushing it off; it was too painful.

The asari was too busy with the datapad to notice his distress; "I started researching what more I could on the Crucible; to see if there was anything else we missed before it was detonated. I found a recording of what happened when Shepard…" Liara stopped. The look on Garrus's face was of extreme torment.

"There's a vid?" his voice came out small and quiet; Liara looked down at the datapad, avoiding eye contact.

She went on, her voice cautious, "You know that insufferable human reporter that would bombard Shepard with unfair questions every time she visited the Citadel?"

Garrus strained his memory, and nodded, "I'd have clocked that woman if Shepard wasn't so intent on making nice."

Liara nodded in appreciation, "We can agree on that. The reporter managed to sneak one of her cameras into the Presidum before the Cerberus closed the Citadel arms. She must have rigged it with a long-range wireless control device and planted it before it was evacuated. It was perched somewhere high above in the rafters." Liara looked cautiously up at Garus, who expanded his mandibles.

"Show me," he said between his grit teeth.

Liara looked concerned, "I don't think...Garrus the reporter didn't air it because she thought it would be disrespectful to Shepard's sacrifice. It shows...everything"

Garrus shook his head impatiently, "Look, if you're going to come wake me up at 4 in the morning because you believe Shepard is alive, and that" he pointed at the datapad, "is the supposed evidence, then you're going to show me." Liara looked down and nodded slowly, tapping the datapad, and handed it to Garrus.

The vid first showed Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani's face up close (Garrus made a noise of displeasure). The Citizens of the Presidum rushed passed in the background; it was obvious the evacuation was in place.

"Alright. Check. Check," al-Jilani whispered, "This is a first-hand account of the outcome of engaging the Crucible. Please note, nobody knows for sure what will happen…" She looked disturbed, and her image frapped out into another.

The next image was a semi birds-eye-view of Admiral Anderson at some sort of console; his back turned to the camera. Shepard limped into frame shortly after; it was obvious she was very badly injured.

Garrus didn't react visibly, but his heart went cold when he saw her so beaten and bloody. He watched on, intently.

When the Illusive Man arrived on screen, Garrus bristled; his mandibles flaring. The Illusive Man somehow had control of the two Alliance soldiers, and forced Shepard to shoot Anderson in the stomach. Garrus flinched; it hurt to watch, but he had to. The Illusive Man was ranting about taking control of the Reapers; it was obvious he was indoctrinated.

After the Illusive Man finished his maniacal raving, he prepared to kill the Admiral. Shepard acted first, breaking the control the Illusive Man had on her and fired a shot at him. A clean shot, but it wasn't enough; the Illusive Man pulled the trigger on Anderson, and they both fell to the ground. Both Liara and Garrus lowered their heads and closed their eyes in respect. Shepard sat next to the Admiral as he bled out.

"Forward it, Liara," Garrus asked, his tone now gentle and solemn. "Give them their moment." Liara nodded silently and tapped the datapad.

The vid flickered away from the scene to another. al-Jilani must have been controlling the camera-drone remotely, as it seemed to have followed Shepard to the Crucible after she managed to open the Citadel's arms. The camera managed to wedge itself safely under what appeared to be some sort of ventilation column.

At first Garrus thought there was some sort of smudge on the lense, which stretched the light on the screen. It made him squint and bring the datapad closer to his face. "What is that?" He asked Liara, but she only motioned silently for him to watch on. The smudge of light wasn't on the lense; it began talking to Shepard.

Garrus' eyes widened in surprise, "It's...a child?" Liara nodded.

They sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the options the child presented to Shepard. Garrus let out a defeated sigh; _of course_, he seethed, _it would be too easy to just destroy the Reapers and be done with it. There always has to be something else. _

The child told Shepard she could destroy the Reapers, but it would in turn destroy all synthetics; the Geth, EDI, and even herself. Garrus knew Shepard well enough to know sacrificing herself wasn't an issue; eradicating an entire race was.

Regardless of how anyone else looked at the Geth, Shepard saw them as equals. The eerie child also offered to allow Shepard to control the Reapers. The camera zoomed in as close to Shepard's face as possible. She looked so weary, but her famous determination was present in the lines on her face.

The last option was the Synthesis. The child's explanation was so vague. It told her it would be a means to save everyone; organic and synthetic, even the Reapers. It would somehow change their DNA for the better.

As far as Shepard was concerned, Synthesis was the only option. She started limping towards an immense beam in the center of the room. Liara began tearing up, and Garrus's green eyes were fixated on the datapad, his jaw clenched.

When Shepard got to the closer to the edge of the platform where the beam was, she wasted no more time. Garrus was taken aback as to how quick it went. He expected her to turn around and shoot her famous smirk back at the camera. Of course that was ridiculous; she had no idea it was there.

Garrus found himself touching the screen as the Commander made her final steps to the edge of the platform, using what energy remained in her move faster. Shepard opened her arms and tipped herself into the beam.

Hot tears formed in Garrus' eyes, his mandibles expanded and contracted as he watched Shepard's shadowy form disintegrate in the beam.

A green pulse emitted from the beam, sweeping over the Crucible; the camera rattled as the pulse flowed through the camera lens.

Liara, holding back her own sobs moved to the bed and put an arm around the Turian, resting her head on his shoulder. He silently thanked her for that. The scene of the empty platform and beam played on for a couple seconds longer before going dark.

al-Jilani's face reappeared on the screen; it was apparent she had been crying as well. Her irises now glowed with the green hue of the Synthesis. She whispered to the camera, "This document will be donated to the Presidium's private historical files. It will be stricken from the public record, and never used as a public news source, in respect for the deceased. The story _will_ be covered, and Commander Shepard will be revered as the true hero she was, and always will be. Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani over."

The screen switched back to a cheerful orange default glow, casting a light over Garrus and Liara's face. They sat in silence for a few moments.

Garrus wasn't sure if he appreciated Liara showing him this or not, though he did demand it. He got to see Shepard one last time, but watching her throw herself into the beam to allow her body to waste away to nothing...was torturous.

"Liara…" Garrus began; Liara lifted her head from his shoulder and moved back to the chair, taking the datapad with her. Garrus's lifted his brow plates with a sombre puzzlement, "How does this indicate in any way Shepard is alive? If anything that was evidence that she...well she won't be coming back from that."

Liara looked hurt, "No, I didn't say that it was evidence, but it's essential to my theory. Didn't you listen to that child?"

Garrus gave Liara an uncertain sigh; he thought he was hanging on every word during the vid, though he was still fairly groggy. The entire conversation between Shepard and "The Catalyst" was pretty ominous altogether.

Liara gestured to the datapad, "Shepard asked that child AI about who built the Crucible. She was understandably trying to get more information; reaching for any further ideas as to why this was all happening, and how to best resolve it. The child brushed off her question like it wasn't important."

Garrus furrowed his brow, "I thought the Protheans built the Crucible? They just didn't have the Catalyst to activate it."

Liara leaned in closer to Garrus; it was obvious she was getting excited again. "Yes, Garrus, the Protheans did build it, but they didn't design it. The child said it became aware of the Crucible's design long before the Prothean cycle. The Protheans were the only race prior to ours who were able to construct it fully. Shepard asked the child about who initially created the Crucible, and the child told her it wouldn't matter. I don't think the Intelligence even knew." The pace of Liara's words quickened; she was getting lost in her own theory.

"You see, the Leviathans created that Intelligence long before the Protheans existed; it was an AI designed to control the Reapers for the Leviathan's original purposes. The Protheans built the Citadel, but they couldn't have installed the Intelligence on the Citadel themselves; not on purpose anyway; why would they? I think, that after the Intelligence betrayed the Leviathans cycles before the Protheans existed, it then used the Reapers to indoctrinate some Protheans to install it aboard the Citadel. That means the Intelligence was already present when the Protheans built their version of the Crucible."

Garrus perked up a bit, "So if this Intelligence claims to be the Catalyst, and it was already installed aboard the Citadel...why didn't the Protheans use it to activate the Crucible?"

Liara beamed, "Exactly, Garrus. The Protheans had all the pieces to the puzzle; why didn't they use them?"

Garrus shook his head doubtfully, "It could be one of a billion reasons, Liara. Maybe they had some sort of bastard, like the Illusive Man running around; indoctrinated and raving about controlling Reapers... I don't really see where this is going."

Liara nodded understandably, "I know, Garrus, but think about it. The Intelligence claims to be the Catalyst for the Crucible. It claims it's a part of the Citadel or rather _is_ the Citadel; though it was the Protheans who actually created it. Whether or not the Reaper Intelligence was installed aboard the Citadel at the beginning, middle or end of the Prothean cycle, it was present at the time the Crucible was created. When we were constructing the Crucible ourselves, the Protheans left notes about how they had everything in place, but the only thing they were missing to activate the Crucible, was the Catalyst. Why didn't the Intelligence appear to them as the Catalyst, as it did to Shepard?"

Garrus rubbed his neck, "I guess…Look, I can't pretend to even comprehend what went on in the Reaper's collective brain, Liara. It could be a number of reasons. I'm not sure how these questions point to Shepard being alive, when she very blatantly was disintegrated in that beam."

Garrus didn't' mean to sound irritated, but his tone had some bitterness to it; it made Liara flinch away slightly. Garrus shook his head slowly, "I'm sorry Liara, I didn't mean to be short with you. It's just...I'm so exhausted of this. Of this war. Shepard sacrificed herself to end it, and we're sitting here, reaching out for little strings of hope. I feel like it's all we've been doing since Shepard first learned about the Reapers. I want her to be alive, Liara. Hell, I would give my own life to bring her back. It may be selfish of me, but I want to be ready to move on...I can't handle being hopeful again to have her taken away."

Liara shut her eyes, and for a moment looked defeated. But then she opened them again, and gave Garrus a hard, stern stare. Garrus tried to hold his stare unflinchingly, but the asari looked like she was going nowhere.

"Garrus, I understand. Please, believe me, I do," Liara's sincerity was one of her most admirable qualities, "I want everything to be over. I want to move on and to give Shepard the peace she deserves. But if there was a chance... the smallest sliver of a chance that she is still out there; despite what you saw in that vid, would you do what you could to be sure?"

Garrus looked at the asari thoughtfully, "Of course I would, Liara. If there was that chance...as small as it could be. I would search for her. I would find her."

Liara's face lit up with hope, "Garrus, I don't think the Reaper AI was the Catalyst. Shepard was. And I don't think that beam killed her. I think it teleported her."


	5. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 5

_Thank you for continuing the story! There are no smoochy turians in this one; it's simply build up to the crew leaving the planet and making their way back home to Earth/the Citadel. _

_By no means however, is the story done; I have a lot more planned (I know I keep saying that, but I hope you enjoy it and keep reading!). I'm by no means an expert on the ME universe, so there may be some discrepancies (like I mentioned initially). I did try to do my research while I was writing it, but the plot is based around a lot of missing information from the actual game ending, and I'm trying to build my own story based off of those holes. Anyway I hope it works for you!_

**All comments, positive and critical are invited. I've reread/spellchecked more than once, but if you catch something that bothers you, feel free to let me know!**

* * *

Garrus gawked at Liara for some time, unable to find the words to respond.

Liara acknowledged this, "Garrus, I know it's a tall order, to believe this theory...I'm trying to put all the pieces together. There are...significant questions that need answering. I'm mostly running on the information that doesn't seem to be available, as well as my instincts. I know Shepard would do the same for us."

This made Garrus feel sheepish; Liara was right. If any of Shepard's crew were in the same position, she would...and has, travelled across the galaxy and back on a whim. Shepard would do everything in her power to either get her friends back, or die trying to make damned sure there was nothing else she could possibly do.

Garrus ran his hand the length of his fringe, and nodded. "If what you say is true, Liara, then I want a direction. I need a lead that points towards Shepard in one way or another. We either need to find out where she went, or that there is absolutely no chance she's coming back. What do you need to finish your investigation?"

Liara produced an appreciative smile for the turian, "I need access to the Prothean VI we found on Thessia. It's been locked away on the Citadel after the Crucible was activated and even I'm not able to access the database through the Shadow Broker's information network. I need the Council to agree to give me access to it. You were right before, Garrus. Back on Thessi, the VI told Shepard that that the Prothean Crucible was sabotaged by an indoctrinated splinter group before they were able to activate it, but it didn't answer Shepard's question about what the Catalyst actually was when she asked; it seemed to avoid the question as best as possible. I'm not sure if it was designed to prevent from answering, or if it just doesn't know; after all, it would only know what the original overseer of the Crucible would have known. Either way, the original reason behind why the Protheans didn't activate the Crucible doesn't match up with what the VI said. There may have indeed been an indoctrinated splinter group intent on controlling the Reapers during the Prothean cycle, but after watching that vid tonight, the Reaper Intelligence said that the Illusive Man couldn't have controlled the Reapers, since they were already controlling him. Why would the Reapers indoctrinate someone to make them think they can control them, and then admit it wouldn't work anyway?"

Garrus blinked, "It does sound like things aren't adding up, Liara. I'd like some answers, one way or another."

Liara straightened her datapads and stood up, "Good," she said, her tone final, "I'll arrange to speak with the Council when we get back to Earth and the Citadel. I'll also ask Javik to make some time during our return flight, see if there's anything we missed during the mayhem and build-up to the Reaper war."

Garrus shot Liara a concerned look, "Javik...I hadn't even seen him since the landing. I should check on him."

Liara gave Garrus a warm smile, "I've been speaking with him, Garrus; he's fine. He's kept himself on the Engineering deck. I believe he is taking the time to meditate and reflect on the events of the war...ours and his. He's...lonely, but content with the outcome of galactic peace. He is quite enamoured with Shepard's heroics."

Garrus let out a chuckle, "Aren't we all."

Liara rested her hand on Garrus's shoulder and squeezed. "Thank you, Garrus, I'll let you sleep," She exited the room and left Garrus to his thoughts.

"I feel like that's all I've been doing lately," Garrus said to himself with a sigh.

The turian got out of bed; as much as he'd love to continue his very enticing dream about Shepard, there was no way he would be able to go back to sleep. He put on his civilian clothes, folded up his private console, and took it with him down to the Crew Deck for a warm beverage.

Pouring himself an dextro-amino based "coffee," Garrus sat down at the mess table and unfolded the portable console, tabbing through his messages. Admiral Hackett had forwarded him the official declaration and digital acknowledgement of Garrus's inheritance of the Normandy. Garrus was still impressed the Alliance allowed him to go through with it.

The Normandy didn't really feel like it belonged to Garrus though; something in him felt like he simply had to keep it occupied until the Commander returned. He sat back in his chair and wondered if he kept letting himself believe that so easily, how hard it would be to take the news that she was truly gone.

Liara seemed so intent on believing Shepard was still out there somewhere...the Asari had never been one for whimsical theories; she was all about research and facts. Garrus wondered if Liara was simply taking Shepard's loss harder than he expected; letting it cloud her judgement and was trying to grasp any theory she could for comfort. However, he did admit Liara had some decent points. He hoped that once she had access to the Prothean VI, it would be able to answer her questions, uninterrupted.

Garrus spotted an email addressed from his sister. He perked up and couldn't open the email quick enough. Her message had such a casual tone; nothing ever seemed to phase her. She wrote that she and their father were fine, and they were volunteering to help where they could in refugee camps. She described what it was like having the Reapers lumbering around Palaven, doing what they could to help clean up the rubble. It must have been extremely odd, as the Reapers were annihilating the planet only a couple days before. Garrus scratched at a mandible and chuckled, reading over the message a few more times before archiving it.

Kaiden rounded the corner from the crew quarters into the mess hall. He looked incredibly sleepy, and quiet solemn. He noticed Garrus sitting at the table. It was obvious Kaiden didn't expect anyone to be there.

"Garrus, Hey."

Garrus glanced at Kaiden for a moment and then returned back to his console, "Kaiden." His tone wasn't unfriendly, but Garrus wasn't ever really fond of Kaiden, though Shepard had regarded him highly. Garrus knew Kaiden was a good person, but he always felt a bit tense around the Major. Garrus was protective of Shepard, and trusted her with his life. Shepard had a natural knack for forgiveness, and always surprised the turian when she managed to put her differences aside if it meant avoiding bloodshed.

Kaiden had given Shepard a lot of grief since they ran into him on Horizon. The Major didn't like that Shepard was flying Cerberus colours, but as far as Garrus was concerned, he would have followed Shepard into a pit of rabid varren if it meant having her back in a fight.

"Which tap is the levo-amino coffee again?" Kaiden asked groggily. Garrus didn't look up from his console, "The yellow one." He heard the Major filling his cup and stepped over to the table.

"May I?" Kaiden asked. Garrus gestured to the chair next to him and Kaiden sat down, cupping his steaming mug in both hands. Kaiden fidgeted awkwardly and looked over at Garrus, who was fixated on his portable console. "I suppose a congratulations are in order…" Kaiden started cautiously, but then cut himself short.

Garrus was now looking at him intently. Kaiden knew very well the turian and Shepard had deep feelings for each other, and he realized congratulating Garrus wasn't the best choice of words. Kaiden rubbed his shoulder nervously.

"Look...Garrus," Kaiden started after a moment of trying to find the right thing to say. "I don't...I'm not very good at this." Garrus could tell Kaiden was struggling and he felt somewhat remorseful for intentionally intimidating the human.

"At ease, Major," was all Garrus could come up with, but it seemed to help; Kaiden relaxed a bit.

"Garrus, you were there for Shepard. You know, always. I don't really know how to say this, but I...thank you. I cared for her, but I let our differences cloud my trust for her. You'd think I would have learned my lesson after you both used Cerberus to take down the Collector base. She told me on Horizon that was her plan, and she did it. She even did it without giving into Cerberus's pressure. I read the report afterwards, that the Illusive Man tried to convince Dhepard to deliver him the Reaper technology she found." Kaiden smiled at this, reminiscing, but his smile faded quickly. "Then that stand-off at the Citadel with Councillor Udina. Garrus, she told me she forgave me, and we started fresh. Then I pulled a gun on her to protect that worm Udina."

Garrus raised his brow plates at Kaiden, and thought about what Shepard would have done in this situation. He decided he landed on the best thing he could come up with, "Major, at the time, you were doing what you thought was right. Protecting the human councillor was your duty, and Shepard wasn't making it easy for you."

The look of appreciation on Kaiden's face confirmed to Garrus he had said the right thing. Kaiden gave an exasperated sigh, "Garrus, that's...more generous than I deserve. I'm not coming to you for justification...I'll made my choices, and I'll have to live with them, I understand that. I just...if I could go back and change things…I would have joined Shepard on the Normandy back at Horizon, Cerberus and all, and I wouldn't have looked back. Things may have turned out different for me then, maybe for the worst, I don't know. But what I would have known, was that doing the right thing by trusting Shepard. Now she's gone, and there's no way for me to tell her that." Kaiden's eyes began to water, but he held them in and sniffed, then sipped at his coffee to hide what may have been a trembling lip.

Garrus swallowed dryly. He wondered how the Commander always had the right thing to say ready at the tip of her tongue. It was a remarkable trait. He pivoted his chair to face Kaiden straight on, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"Look, Kaiden. I can't pretend that regretting past mistakes will make things any easier. But I do know Shepard. And wherever she is now... she's proud of you, Major."

Kaiden shut his eyes in gratitude. "She was lucky to have you at her back, Garrus. You two deserved each other. I wish things were different, but I'd be a fool to dwell on it, right?"

Garrus nodded in agreement and Kaiden smiled.

"Captain," Kaiden added, "When we get back to Earth, and sort everything out...whatever that entails...I'd be honored to serve under you on the Normandy. If you'll have me, of course."

Garrus was taken by surprise; he certainly did not expect that. "Well...it would be a pleasure, Major. At this point any future missions are a mystery...but yeah, absolutely."

Kaiden tipped the rest of his coffee into his mouth, swallowed, and stood up. He offered a hand to Garrus, who stood up as well. Garrus took Kaiden's hand firmly, and the handshake was short and swift, but friendly. Kaiden saluted the turian, and Garrus shot one back. Kaiden started making his way back to the crew quarters.

"Major," Garrus called back after Kaiden, who looked back around, "I heard you hit on my girl."

Kaiden noted the amusement in Garrus's tone, and smirked at him apologetically. "I didn't know she was dating a turian Reaper expert at the time. She shut me down. Even after I made her a deadly steak."

This made Garrus laugh, "Well at least I won't deny you have good taste, Alenko."

Kaiden shot another grin at Garrus before disappearing into the crew quarters.

Garrus yawned, and finished his beverage. He activated the time display on his omni-tool; it was already 6am. The crew would be waking up to prepare for their launch today, so Garrus packed up his private console and took it back up the the Captain's Cabin.

Before getting ready for the day, Garrus opened the console once again, typed out a quick message and sent it to Traynor for when she started her shift. He removed his casual attire, showered, got into his armor, and put on his visor before heading back to the CIC.

The crew was already bustling back and forth over the deck, making last checks before their flight back home. Comm Specialist Traynor addressed Garrus as he exited the elevator, walking with him as he made his way to the bridge.

"Good morning, Captain." Traynor saluted Garrus, who returned one back. Traynor passed Garrus a datapad and he scrolled through the report.

"How are we doing, Traynor?" Garrus asked.

Traynor cleared her throat, "All preparations have been made and we are ahead of schedule. Admiral Hackett has checked in with us to confirm that if for some reason we run into problems at FTL, and have no comm stations close enough to call for help, the Alliance will send a rescue vessel along our course in 6 days. We have enough supplies on the ship to last us 3 months, so we do not expect any problems. However that does not mean we have not taken precautions. We've submitted our precise location and course to the Alliance, but if for some reason we get off course, EDI will take an emergency pod to the nearest comm beacon; whether it be a planet or space station. She's volunteered herself as she would be the best advocate for potential pod travel due to the lack of her need for oxygen."

Garrus cocked his head, "I thought EDI couldn't take her body outside of the Normandy's communication range?" The two stopped in the hall before the bridge. Traynor tittered, "EDI is alive now, remember? She still has the ability to control the Normandy's network, and weapon and defense suites, but she is whole. She is a part of her body now; not the Normandy itself."

Garrus contemplated, "I suppose it's more simple a concept than I initially thought."

EDI's voice rang over the intercom, "That is correct, Garrus. I can still offer the skills required for assisting the Normandy systems, but in the words of Jeff, 'What you see is what you get.'"

Joker couldn't help himself, and added "I have so many things to say to that."

Garrus turned to Traynor and whispered "Did you get my message?"

Samantha looked solemn, but nodded, "Yes sir."

"Crew Deck, 5 minutes, Comm Specialist."

"Sir." Traynor acknowledged with a salute once more, and returned back to the Galaxy Map.

Joker and EDI were laughing softly to each other as Garrus stepped onto the bridge. Through the clear panels surrounding the cockpit, the morning sky was streaked with violet and blue.

"Captain," Joker pivoted his chair around to face the Turian. "We're pretty much ready to go, if you say the orders. I know we were scheduled to launch in the afternoon, but the crew worked overtime to make sure everything was set. Just say the word."

Garrus thought about it, but shook his head. "We can leave shortly, I'd just like to address the team on the crew deck before we lift off."

Joker nodded and spun back around, rotating the display and punching a few buttons. "Done."

It only took a few minutes for the team members to gather on the crew deck. Garrus awaited them in the hallway at the elevator. Tali, EDI, Liara, Vega, Cortez, Joker, Traynor and Javik stood before him, looking somber. Garrus stepped forward and addressed the small group.

"I want to thank you all. Not only as squad members, but as friends. We have all been through hell and back together. It's only fitting we take a moment for ourselves to remember Shepard's sacrifice together."

Garrus scanned the squad, their green eyes sad, and their skin gently pulsed with the synthetic glow.

"Shepard was always the one who knew how to do the talking. I can't offer you words that would adequately match our respect for her. So I ask you, as friends, to stay with me for the next few moments, and silently reflect the best soldier...the best friend we have had the privilege of serving with."

Traynor stepped forward, and handed Garrus Shepard's name plate. Seeing it seemed to awaken the crew to the reality of the loss, and some began tearing up.

Garrus stepped back into the line of squadmates, facing the plaque list of crew members lost in the line of duty. The squad stayed quiet, respecting the silence.

Garrus looked down at the nameplate in his hands, and let a tear roll freely down his face. A few moments of silence passed, and Garrus slowly stepped towards the plaque. He raised the nameplate above Admiral Anderson, who Traynor added to the plaque the moment the crew found out he was killed in action by the Illusive Man. Garrus pushed Shepard's name plate flush with the metal; which gently suctioned magnetically. He didn't want to let go; he let his hands linger upon it for a few more moments, before stepping back into the line of squadmates. Some team members lowered their heads. Garrus looked over to EDI, and saw she was making an expression he had never seen her make before.

In that moment, he understood. She was heartbroken. It wasn't a matter of a technical explanation, or the fact that she had adapted to reflect the emotions of the people around her. She _was_ alive.

EDI's grief-stricken eyes met Garrus's. He stepped over, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She gave him a sad, yet thankful smile, and returned the embrace.

20 minutes later, the Normandy successfully lifted off, and began it's journey back to Earth.


	6. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 6

**Notes for you!**

_The Normandy is on their Journey home. Liara connects with Javik to find out if he can offer any further information about the Crucible, or who made it. She doesn't necessarily find out what she asked for, but got a bit more than she bargained for._

_Liara and Garrus try to reach out to Shepard in the hopes that they can somehow connect with her like she has been doing though their vivid dreams._

_I was listening to the Mass Effect Emotional Suite [Version 3] while writing the sad bits, haha. I highly recommend it if you're enjoying the story and like that extra emotional boost :P._

_It's 3:30am where I am and I've tried to re-read and spellcheck. If I miss something please don't' hesitate to yell at me!_

_Please enjoy!_

* * *

The majority of the Normandy crew seemed in high spirits as they started the long trip back to Earth. A day and a night had passed while the ship traveled FTL through the starry void towards the direction of Earth and the Citadel.

With the collective efforts of the Geth and the Reapers, the relays were being rebuilt quicker than anyone could have expected. The Reapers had been collecting knowledge of the races they were programmed to destroy over several cycles, and it came in handy now that they've been synthesized. Before the Normandy left Aite, reports had indicated that the Sol relay may be completely functional in a fortnight.

The captain of the Normandy found himself in the starboard observation desk, standing at the room-length window, staring off into the stars. The turian stood tall, with his hands placed behind his back, thinking long and hard.

Garrus Vakarian had recently held a personal memorial service with Commander Shepard's closest comrades and squadmates. It took all his willpower to avoid telling them all about Liara's theory. He wanted so bad to believe it, but sharing a sensitive theorem without proof would have just stirred up emotions and caused unease amongst the crew during their journey back. Once the Council held their memorial service, and held a public summit addressing all galactic races, Liara would be able to request access to the Prothean VI to ask it her questions.

Garrus wondered if the Reaper Intelligence was still present on the Crucible; if it were still functional in any way, as it was ultimately synthetic. The details of what had happened with the child Intelligence after the Crucible was activated were unknown by Liara altogether. If they somehow managed to salvage what they could of the intelligence; or at least found out where it was originally installed, it may provide some additional answers. The Reaper AI had been around much longer than the Prothean VI, after all.

The doors behind Garrus swished open, and he saw Liara's reflection approaching him in the observation window.

"Garrus," she said in her gentle tone.

Garrus turned to her, his hands still placed militantly behind his back, "Did Javik have anything you could use?" he asked immediately.

Laira gave the turian a quick nod, and gestured to the sofa facing the window. They sat down, and Liara looked somewhat uneasy; Garrus wasn't able to read her like Shepard would have.

"Liara, are you alright?" Garrus tried to meet eyes with her, but she avoided eye contact with him best she could without seeming rude. He decided to give up and let her report to him on her own terms.

"Garrus, I spoke with Javik. He's willing to offer any help he can to extract more information from Vendetta once we are able to attain it. He also told me that it was possible there are caches of Prothean memory shards elsewhere in the galaxy. They may provide more insight on the Crucible, and even any potential anomalies the Protheans detected on the Crucible regarding the Reaper AI, but he has no knowledge where they may be. Even if he did, we need the relays repaired and functional before we can go find such things."

Garrus frowned, "That's it? he said if we find more information he can help? I was kind of hoping that was the case anyway, Liara. Did Javik manage to provide you anything else? Anything that we may have missed during the race to activate the Crucible?"

Liara swallowed uncomfortably, but continued, "I asked him that very thing, if there was anything he may have missed before Shepard was able to get to the Crucible, but he became somewhat...offended. He said that there would be absolutely no way he would have missed anything as important as information on the Crucible...I think it hurt his pride."

Garrus shook his head, exasperated, "Oh come on, Liara. The guy is as as pretentious as they come. You can't get caught up in the fact that he took your questions as a slight to his pride."

Liara rubbed her neck, "No, it's not that, Garrus. Javik quickly disregarded the question as an insult and apologized. He's been through so much; we can't pretend to know what it's like to wake up a cycle later and try to adapt to that."

Garrus gave Liara a puzzled look, "Then Liara, why are you so shook up? If he insulted you back, I'll go down there right now…"

"No!" Liara was visibly taken aback by the tone of her own voice. Garrus simply awaited her explanation. Liara obliged, reluctant, "After he apologized, he told me that he planned to go back to his home planet and...end himself in honour of his fallen comrades."

This was not news to Garrus. He'd prefer the Prothean at least try to adapt in their cycle, but he couldn't pretend to understand Javik's beliefs, and so said nothing.

Liara continued, "He became sad; more vulnerable than he's ever made himself to anyone on the crew. He told me that if the memory shards still existed, someone would need to read them. Since Shepard is no longer around, and he will be...indisposed..." Liara saddened, "we will need someone to read the memory shards properly."

"And?" Garrus inquired; the Asari seemed to have gotten lost in thought for a moment, and blinked herself back to reality.

"And…" she continued, "he told me he would teach me." Garrus was impressed, the Prothean had come a long way from treating the crew like they were children. Teaching Liara to master reading a Prothean shard was a big step for him. He then recalled Shepard mentioning the memory shard Javik kept in his quarters; it was full of horrible memories of war and strife.

Garrus finally managed to lock eyes with Liara, "Did you use that memory shard he has? Liara you didn't have to do that...it must have been a horrible experience."

Liara gave Garrus a gracious smile, but shook her head. "No, Garrus. Javik told me it would be too intense for my first time. It's supposed to throw you into the memory, to see it exactly how it was at the time. He said if I tried reading it, it would be similar to what Shepard experienced with the beacon on Eden Prime; flashes of horrifying scenes, of death and war. He did not think it would be an adequate teaching tool."

Liara blushed, and Garrus caught it, "Liara, are you going to tell me what happened? Or am I going to have to go ask him myself?" Liara's eyes widened, and the blue hue of her cheeks deepened.

"Javik said that he could show me how to read the memory shards directly, through him. He said Asari have the closest evolution to Protheans in this cycle, and the fact that we can meld means that learning to read a memory shard will come easier than other species. We then proceeded to...well we…"

Garrus was confused as all hell at this point. Liara was stumbling over her words like she was a juvenile asking another on a date. "Liara, if you're not comfortable telling me in person, why don't you send me a report of the...necessary details to my console?"

Liara seemed to snap out of it, and shook her head in shy appreciation, "No, Garrus. It's important I tell you directly...I'll explain why. When Javik and I were melding, his initial intent was solely educational. He was trying to pass his knowledge of shard-reading to me through touch, and it seemed to be working. He chose some memories for me to decipher and it was going fairly well. I think with a few more sessions, I should be able to successfully read a shard on my own."

Garrus raised his brow, "That's great, Liara! Though I'm not going to push you; but what part of this has rattled you so much you have trouble looking me in the eye?"

Liara looked at her hands, and then back up at him. "Towards the end of session, Javik accidentally let some of his...emotion pass through me. I could feel it directly; forgotten...cold...so lonely. I couldn't help myself after feeling that. I returned the emotion, but it was meant to embrace him. I sent him warmth and compassion through the meld. I told him he wasn't alone, and that he has friends here. And a friend in me. He felt so appreciative, but also embarrassed. It was clear I was providing feelings he was not used to feeling, or ever felt; but we both knew it's what he needed. This is difficult to explain in words...I'm not sure if it makes any sense."

Garrus hadn't melded with an Asari before, but he was pretty sure it was almost exactly the way he felt when he was his most intimate with Commander Shepard. As a human, she didn't have the means to share their thoughts and emotions through her mind and nervous system...but she didn't have to. Every touch, every sound she made told Garrus what she was thinking, what she was feeling. Garrus nodded, "It makes sense, Liara. Please continue, if you're comfortable with it."

Liara provided Garrus another timid smile, "I let Javik embrace all the warmth I had to offer. It was like a long hug at first...it was friendly. But then he accidentally let loose... his emotions burst into me; so bright and intense. I've never felt it from anyone before; it may have been the effect of Prothean advanced physiology, but it was apparent he couldn't hold back. He gave me such immense pleasure, I just opened up and let it in. Wave after wave, he enveloped my body and mind in bliss. I could feel he was apologetic, and that he didn't expect it. He tried to pull away, but I wouldn't let him. It felt so good, Garrus...I couldn't ever explain it in words. We spent some time intertwining these feelings back and forth until we climaxed together."

Liara was blushing harder than ever now; it was obvious she was a bit flustered. Garrus himself felt a bit warm listening to Liara's story.

Garrus cleared his throat, "Er...I'm glad you decided to share this with me. I didn't mean to pressure you into explaining it in such..detail."

Liara smiled at him shyly, "It's fine Garrus. The reason I needed to tell you, is that because of this, we managed to spend some more time talking...we came up with a theory. Javik mentioned that during his cycle, there were some whisperings of the sensory mechanism the Protheans used to trade experiences and ideas being able to be used beyond physical touch. Up until when the Reapers eliminated Javik's race, touching was necessary to trade complex ideas, thoughts and feelings. However before they got time to look into it further, there were only myths Protheans being able to do this from a distance."

Garrus narrowed his eyes, trying to deduce what Liara was telling him, "So, like telepathy? That's some serious science-fiction stuff, Liara."

This made Liara laugh, "Indeed, Garrus. But 5 years ago, nobody wanted to believe the Reapers existed, but lo-and-behold there they were; ready to annihilate the galaxy as we knew it. Without the threat of galactic elimination, what if we can evolve past even the Protheans? What if the Synthesis was a means to somehow speed up our evolution? It's already started in other factors of our lives. As you've experienced, it's even increased the regeneration rate of our wounds, and even immune systems; there are reports of Quarians and Volus beginning to remove their environmental suits on the Citadel. They are cautious, mind you, but I've heard of a handful taking their suits off without negative repercussions. The Quarians originally calculated it would have taken years, even decades to slowly build their immune systems back up."

Garrus gawked at Liara, fascinated, "Does Tali know about this?"

Liara nodded, "She's not comfortable removing her mask or suit on the ship, and nor should she be. But I think once we get more information about the other Quarian's experiences, she may go to Huerta Memorial and try it."

Garrus inhaled, taking in the information. He wondered what else the Synthesis had in store for them.

After a moment, Liara brought the conversation back on track, "So what do you think?"

Garrus blinked, "Sorry?"

The asari leaned back in the seat, "About Javik's theory? About the telepathy?"

Garrus scratched his neck, "I don't know, how is that relevant to your theory on Shepard?"

Liara sighed, her patience waning, "Garrus, we've both had the exact same dream about Shepard. I understand dreaming about someone you love as a way of mourning is common, but this was different. We experienced the same thing, like Shepard was really there with us."

This made Garrus look away, but he didn't' disagree.

Liara continued, "What if wherever she went, she found a way to communicate with us? It may be difficult for her, so maybe it's only possible once in a while, and can only happen if she catches us while sleeping? It's said certain doors can open during a dream."

Garrus stood up and walked to the window. He was conflicted. One one hand, he hated hearing about such an ambiguous theory that the one person he's ever loved (and possibly will ever love) could actually be reached by dreaming. On the other, he would do anything to prove that were true.

He turned around to Liara, "If this were true, how do we guarantee we can find her again? If she comes to us, should I be putting myself out cold 24/7?"

Liara shook her head, "There's no guarantee, Garrus. Just theories and hope. But we both know better than anyone that Shepard has worked with more than that before."

Garrus made a noise at the depths of his throat in agreement, "So what do you suggest we do? To find out for sure?"

This made Liara give him a look of apprehension, but she answered nonetheless, "I'd like to try an experiment." Garrus crossed his arms, but Liara didn't let him interrupt, "If it doesn't work, then I'll drop it. But for now, I was hoping you'd let me try...amplifying... your connection to Shepard."

Garrus cocked his head inquisitively, "And how do you propose you do that?"

Liara took a moment to gather the courage to reply with what she was about to suggest, "We meld, Garrus. And while we meld, you do your damnedest to reach out to Shepard."

Garrus was not sure how to answer, it wasn't the sort of experiment he expected. He thought Liara would have told him she would construct some sort network of communication beacons. Or pull some favours and try researching further into the Prothean telepathy myth. He did not think in a thousand years he would be the experiment himself.

The Turian must have not said anything in a long while, because Liara fidgeted in her seat, and finally addressed him, "Garrus…?"

Garrus snapped back to reality, and gave Liara a befuddled look, "Isn't melding like the Asari way of...you know," he made a gesture with his hands that must have looked ridiculous because it made Liara chuckle.

"Garrus, melding will always be an intimate interaction between an Asari and another, but it's not always done with the intent of procreating, no. Melding can offer loved ones solace or warmth without a romantic or sexual context. I'd like to try meld with you to potentially provide a stronger connection to Shepard. As insane as it may sound, Garrus, I'm willing to try it if it means in any way it can give us any information as to where Shepard is. If she's alive and out there somewhere... or if it's simply some coincidence that we've seen her in our dreams."

Garrus placed both hands on the back of his neck and sighed, "Fine," he said finally, "When do we do this? Do I need to bring anything?"

Liara gave Garrus a gratified look, "Tonight, if you can, Garrus. And all you need to bring is yourself, and your immense desire to have Shepard back at your side."

Garrus gave a chuckle, "That, I can do."

The night came quick, though it was impossible to tell from day or night while the Normandy sped across the galaxy. Billions upon billions of stars streaked past; the only way to tell the time was to keep track of consoles and omni-tools. The Normandy crew had switched to night-shift, which only kept a few ensigns trudging back and forth over the CIC deck, steaming coffees in hand. The rest of the crew seemed to navigate to port observation to unwind with some drinks, music and card games before heading to bed.

Garrus sat on the edge of the bed in the Captains Cabin, fidgeting with a datapad. His eyes scanned it over, reading the same line over and over again.

He drummed his fingers on the datapad a few times before standing up and dropping it onto the bed. Garrus paced around the room a few times. He was nervous. Not because he was expected to meld with Liara, but because he truly did expect to see Shepard as a result of this 'experiment.' He didn't want to admit aloud, but something in his gut told him she was out there, and he just needed to reach out further.

He was absolutely terrified that he wouldn't find anything, and he'd have to keep wrestling with theories and strings of hope. If he could truly see her tonight, he would be sure. And there would be nothing in this galaxy that could stop him.

The intercom blipped cheerfully, "Come in," Garrus said, running his hand over his fringe.

Liara stepped in, producing a warm smile for Garrus. "You ready?" She asked the turian; she was visibly more confident than Garrus about the situation.

Garrus shrugged, "More ready than I'll ever be, I suppose."

Liara touched his arm, "I know the notion seems uncomfortable, but I won't do anything that you do not want. I will be sensing your intentions, and if I sense you need to stop, I will let go immediately. All in all, though, you'll be in the drivers seat, Garrus. I've never tried this before but melding generally includes both parties to be aware and present during the interaction. Once we connect, I'll be...giving you room, I guess is the best way I can put it. I'm going to step aside, so to speak, which should allow you to reach out to Shepard."

Garrus rubbed his forehead, "How will I know how to reach out to her? Before I'd be sleeping and she came to me."

Liara gave Garrus a curt shrug, "We won't know until it happens, Garrus. Just do your best, and search for her. If this goes correctly, my presence should act like a conduit to amplify Shepard's signal."

Garrus gave her a look, "You gathered all this from your conversation with Javik?"

Liara nodded, "Actually, yes. The myths he had were fairly detailed. Even more so when he let me read them straight from his mind."

Garrus sighed, "Well, better now than never."

Liara led Garrus to sit on the floor across from her. She sat cross-legged, and he kneeled. She locked eyes with him, "It'll be alright, Garrus."

Garrus believed her, and held out his palms, assuming that's how melding worked. Liara did not break eye contact, but hovered her hands over Garrus's. She shut her eyes, and then opened them abruptly; they went completely black, but in no way was it sinister.

Garrus thought he could see the reflection of stars in her eyes.

"Embrace eternity, Garrus. Let Athame lead us to our Shepard." Liara lowered her hands to Garrus's palms, and he immediately felt the connection. He closed his eyes, and allowed the meld to embrace him. It was pleasant, somewhat tingly. His breathing became slower and deeper, and his eyes relaxed, rolling back up into his head. Even though his eyes were closed, he could sense the room disappearing around him; the walls, the furniture, the fish tank, dissolving into the darkness.

He opened his eyes. He was once again floating in the starry void, though he wasn't alone this time. Liara was still in front of him, palm to palm. Her eyes were still closed.

"Liara?" Garrus asked, his voice muffled by the void. Liara didn't open her eyes, but she whispered to him without opening her mouth, "Find her," her voice whispered, gentle in his mind.

Garrus looked around. As before, the stars twinkled around them. He then saw it; that light that stood out from the rest. He immediately began moving towards it, taking Liara with him. He went so much faster this time, the light moving closer than ever before. He willed it closer, and it hit him so fast it almost took him by surprise.

The darkness dissolved away, and the light enveloped him, forcing Garrus to shut his eyes. After a few moments, he gathered the ability to open them again. Liara's figure started out blurry, but as his eyes adjusted slowly, he realized it was no longer Liara. Instead of a blue fringe, a red mop of hair flowed and swayed in slow motion, as if there were a mystical source of wind from somewhere.

Shepard's face came into focus. She was sitting cross-legged in front of Garrus, her palms touching his. Liara must have done something to accept Shepard in an take her conscious for the time being.

Seeing Shepard in front of him, feeling her hands...was almost too 's throat tightened, but he forced back a tear. "Shepard?" he whispered, hoping to the Spirits she would react. She did.

Shepard opened her eyes, and looked up at Garrus; her green irises a beautiful sheen.

"You found me," she said to him once again, providing him warm smile.

Garrus wrapped his fingers around her hand, and she returned the gesture.

"You're really here?" He caressed her hands with his thumbs.

"I am," She said, her elation was visible, she too was fighting off tears, "Don't let go, Garrus. Don't disconnect the touch. It's somehow making this...so much easier. How are you doing it?"

Garrus gripped her hands tighter, "Liara is helping me somehow. We are melding...she said it would amplify your signal? Do you know what that means?"

Shepard nodded, but with some uncertainty, "I think so," she replied.

Garrus's breathing quickened, he had so many things to ask, to say to her, "Do you know where you are? How can we find you? Do you remember what happened after you activated the Crucible?"

Shepard shook her head apologetically, "I can't...I can't remember. I chose what I thought was the best option, Garrus. I hoped… I hoped it would save everyone. When I jumped in, I knew it would take my life, but it didn't. It pulled me to pieces and then put me back together somewhere else. I have no idea where...I haven't opened my eyes, but I always feel like I'm floating."

This was a lot to take in, but Garrus didn't' know how long he had until Liara wasn't able to continue the meld. Garrus pulled Shepard's hands in closer to him, "Are you okay? Are you hurt? I want to find you, Shepard. I _need _to find you."

Shepard gave Garrus a sad smile, "I wish I could tell you more, Garrus. I...I don't know how long I can be here for; it's starting to strain. It's all I've been doing...gathering my strength and then searching for you again. Please...please don't let it strain you or Liara too much. I'm fine, Garrus. I'm alive, and I'm okay. You don't have to search anymore."

Garrus shook his head, he was taken aback. "What do you mean I don't' have to search for you anymore? I'm going to find you!" Shepard let a tear escape; it rolled down her cheek, off her chin, and fell onto the back of Garrus's hand. He felt it drop and produce a soft splatter.

"I'm so far away, Garrus," Shepard said with a sad tone, "I don't know where I am, I don't know how far away. I can't give you any information, but I can ask that you please let me be. I need to know I'm not stopping you from living your life. If you spend the rest of your life searching for me, I will never forgive myself. I was given some sort of solace here, in this dream. It was a gift that I was able to find you and say goodbye one last time. Please...I won't try to contact you anymore. I want you to have peace."

Garrus clenched his jaw, "Don't you do this, Commander. You made me a promise back on Earth."

Shepard's face lit up and she gripped Garrus's fingers tight, "Be at peace, Garrus. You gave me a hell of a ride. Take care of my crew, will you?"

Garrus shook his head again, a second and third tear making their way down his face "I'm not letting you go, Shepard. Not after this."

Shepard sniffed, and gave him a soft chuckle, "I'm starting to slip...Liara must be fighting to give us every second she can -"

Garrus ran his hands up Shepard's arms, careful to not lose physical contact. He rested his hands on either side of her neck and jaw, and looked into her eyes. Shepard place her hands over his and grinned back, wistfully, "Goodbye Vakarian. I will always love you."

Garrus leaned in, kissing her soft and long. Her face was so warm; it was exactly how he remembered it. The kiss lingered for a few more moments. Garrus closed his eyes and took in her scent. There was no more doubt. This was real, and he knew now.

When Garrus opened his eyes, it was Liara again who was in Shepard's place. The blinding light was gone, and the Captain's Cabin had replaced itself around them.

Before Garrus had a chance to pull away from the kiss, the Cabin door hissed open. Liara and Garrus disconnected their hands and lips and turned to the Cabin entrance.

"Kaiden!" Liara gasped.

Major Alenko stood in the doorway, looking at the two with discontent. Garrus and Liara shot to their feet, and began trying to explain what had happened, but Kaiden shook his head at them and only said, "Sorry to interrupt, Captain." There was poison in his voice, and he stepped back through the door into the elevator and punched the button.

Kaiden glared at the turian and asari as the doors closed.


	7. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 7

_This is a fairly short chapter following up to Kaiden's reaction to stumbling in on Garrus and Liara. It's mostly again trying to get into the character's heads, but there is some progress with the main story. _

_It's not the last you'll see of Kaiden! I have a love/hate relationship with him, so I do want to keep him around for later :p I also took the chance to add a bit more push towards the Javik x Liara ship ;]._

_The few messages and reviews that I've gotten have made me absolutely ecstatic. Thanks again for taking the time to read the story, and a double-thank-you for those who took the time to write to me about it! _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Liara and Garrus fidgeted restlessly as they waited for the elevator to return. They both wanted to discuss what happened during the meld, but as captain of the Normandy, Garrus had to make sure Kaiden wasn't going to stir up trouble with the crew after what he saw.

"EDI," Garrus called, and the intercom blipped, "Where did Kaiden go?" The elevator doors opened and he stepped in with Liara.

EDI's voice quickly responded, "Kaiden has arrived on the crew deck, Captain." Garrus punched the crew deck button and the doors swished closed. He pushed it a few more times on their way down as if it would make it go faster.

Garrus and Liara stepped out onto the crew deck. They didn't have to go far to find Kaiden. He was standing before the plaque they had added Shepard's name to only the morning before last.

Garrus took a step towards Kaiden; Liara stayed by the elevator. The port observation door was open, and the crew members that were off-shift were rowdy with laughter, and had not noticed Kaiden or the other two.

"Kaiden," Garrus started, and the Major shot him a poisonous look. Garrus didn't falter; he wouldn't be where he was today if nasty looks could make him curl up like a pyjak during purge season on Tuchanka. "Major, what gave you the right to enter my quarters without announcement or permission?"

It was obvious Kaiden wasn't expecting this; he assumed Garrus would begin with apologies, or attempts to explain his actions. He bristled, "My apologies, _Captain_. I didn't realize turians needed a only a few days time to move onto their next conquest."

At this point the residents of the port observation had turned down the music and were now observing the ruckus in the hallway. Tali had a drink in hand, straw fitted securely into her mask. Vega was quietly shuffling a deck of cards; his eyes on Garrus and Kaiden.

Joker stepped out of the crew quarters, hair ruffled and groggily rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He saw the gathering of crew members with drinks in hand and perked up a bit, "Ooh! Tell me someone made nachos. Oh." He had noticed the stand-off between Garrus and Kaiden, shifted his eyes between the two, and stepped into the crowd, hiding himself from view.

Garrus did not break his stare from Kaiden; faltering eye-contact would be what he considered an act of guilt and weakness. "Captain or not, Kaiden, I do not have to explain myself to you."

Kaiden took a step towards Garrus, flaring his biotic field for effect. It had a green hue now, instead of blue; an obvious visual side effect of the Synthesis. Garrus was taller than Kaiden however, and stood his ground. Garrus only lowered his eyes to meet Kaiden's; making a point not to lower his head. He was not intimidated.

The Major crossed his arms, "Easy for you to say, Captain. Did the new promotion get your blood pumping? Is that why you needed to invite the asari - Shepard's _friend_ to your quarters?"

The crowd of crewmembers in the corridor shifted uncomfortably. It may not have been their business, but they were hooked on every word, nonetheless. They knew better than to judge the situation based off of what they were hearing, however, and listened on intently.

Garrus's mandibles clacked with impatience, "You're assuming too much, Kaiden. And even if I were cavorting with Liara, it would be none of your damned business. You do _not _burst into a Captain's cabin unannounced. The war may be over, Alenko, but this ship still has structure and rules. You should know better than to make a scene like this."

Kaiden scoffed, "Apologies for my insubordination! By the way, where did you learn how to kiss? That's not a turian custom, I hear. Did Shepard teach you that? Couldn't wait to try it on Liara now that Shepard is gone?"

"STAND _DOWN,_ MAJOR," Garrus growled, his mandibles twitching. Kaiden seemed to shrink back only slightly before he caught himself and puffed out his chest. Garrus thought he was acting like a juvenile.

Liara looked mortified, and the present crew members gasped. There may have been some unavoidable judgement at this time. It took all of Garrus's willpower not to strike Kaiden's pretty face. Garrus only stood up straighter. He did not care what Kaiden thought, but had no choice but to explain to the crew. Tali now had only the straw hanging from of her mask, as she lowered her drink in bewilderment.

Garrus turned only his head to the crowd; he kept his body straight and firm towards Kaiden. "Liara and I were melding, yes. If it were a romantic endeavor, again, it would be no ones business but ours. But it was not romantic. We've developed a theory that involves contacting Commander Shepard through some sort of telepathy."

The crew said nothing; they simply awaited further explanation with looks of confusion. Kaiden however, did not seem convinced. "Oh come on, Garrus. You're going to lie about it now? You were _kissing_."

Garrus closed his eyes in frustration. He opened them again and began to explain, " After the Crucible was activated, Liara and I found we shared similar dreams of Shepard. Very, very similar, specific dreams. We became suspicious as to whether she was really dead, or somehow transported somewhere else after activating the Crucible. Liara suggested a meld may amplify the connection to Shepard, and by some miracle, it did. She acted as a conduit to allow myself a short conversation with Shepard…" Garrus's mouth went dry recalling the interaction. The crowd, even Kaiden stared at Garrus in bewilderment; his biotics subsided.

"It sounds far-fetched, I know," Garrus continued through the tense silence, "But when I found Shepard, I knew she was really there. We were able to speak to each other...even touch, but time was short. Then Major Alenko arrived," He gestured to Kaiden, "I'll let you deduce rest as to why you saw what you saw."

Not a word was spoken for moments after that. Garrus felt the stares burning into his side. Kaiden didn't seem to know what to think, but there was a look of hope on his face; as if he wanted to believe.

The elevator doors opened behind them, "What they say is true." Javik stepped out, glancing lazily from the group in the corridor, to Kaiden. "I suggested the meld, and that it may amplify a connection to the Commander. It was a theory built on Prothean myth and asari-turian optimism. The turian captain and Liara executed the trial with success. I admit it was not something I anticipated on the first try." He stepped over to Liara, his gaze seemed to soften when looking at her, "but this particular asari seems to have a knack for finding her strengths on the first try."

Liara blushed with pride. Garrus was positive pride wasn't the only reason she was grinning, though.

Tali cleared her throat, and pulled the dangling straw from her mask, "So if Shepard is out there somewhere...we can find her? We can bring her back to us?"

Garrus had to choose his words wisely. He did not want to create false hope, though every fiber in him burned in belief that he would find Shepard. "We don't know much yet, Tali. I wasn't able to find out where Shepard is, besides the fact that it's a very long ways away. When we get back to the Citadel, Liara will be launching an investigation to find out more about the Crucible, and what potentially happened to Shepard during the activation. If we can dig into the Crucible's past, then it may point us towards Shepard."

Surprisingly, the crew seemed to be nodding with conviction; even determination. Vega spoke up, first. "Well if she's out there, we're going to find her. Not one of us would be here without the Commander. Earth...the entire galaxy would be in ruins. When we get to the Citadel, you tell us when to meet back at the Normandy. You're not doing this investigation alone."

Vega gave Garrus a sturdy salute. The other crew members followed. Garrus' chest stretched in appreciation; he was not expecting the entire crew to be on board with following a whim. But this was Shepard. She's stretched her neck out a thousand times for countless people. It was their turn to return the favor.

The crew members started to disperse and get ready for bed. Kaiden stepped over to Garrus. "Look, I apologize, alright? It's just...I couldn't believe you moved so quickly from Shepard. Even if it were some sort of rebound consolidation deal or something...But as you said; it was nothing. Yeah it wasn't any of my business, but I'm a little messed up from the war and losing Shepard. Once we find more information on where she is, we can start making preparations to find her."

Garrus went ridgid, and locked eyes with Kaiden, "No, Major. Not you."

Kaiden was taken off guard, and let out a small laugh, as if it were a joke. "What are you saying, Garrus?"

Garrus blinked and sighed. He turned his tone militant, "We will be investigating the whereabouts of Commander Shepard, but you will not be joining us." He turned with Liara and Javik, and stepped into the elevator together, looking back at Alenko.

Kaiden looked crushed, "Sir?"

Garrus shook his head, "I'm sorry, Kaiden. I won't tolerate insubordination on this ship. If you can't trust me, and if you can't follow rules, then I have no use for you in this investigation. You're confined to the crew deck for the remainder of the flight. If you require urgent assistance, please hail EDI or Traynor, and they will relay any messages to me.

The elevator doors closed, leaving Kaiden in the corridor looking stunned.

Once the doors were sealed shut, Garrus let out a deep exhale. Liara looked at him in concern, "You handled that well, Garrus. Shepard would be proud."

Garrus flashed Liara a thankful grin. "How did Shepard deal with this bullshit on a daily basis without losing it?"

It was Liara's turn to sigh heavily, "Hell if I know, Vakarian."


	8. Synthesis Aftermath: Chapter 8

_The Normandy arrives at Earth/the Citadel. The Crew crashes (not literally) at Shepard's flat on the Citadel - Garrus takes Tali to Huerta Memorial! _

_A longer chapter that makes up for the previous shorter one! I wasn't trying to force it to be longer, It just happened. It also wasn't intentional to be this fluffy...but I the padding between the main story just comes out and I have to let it happen :P._

_I kind of want to give the other characters some face-time; not forcibly so, but once I start writing about them, I figure I have some time to give them some love :}._

* * *

Javik, Liara and Garrus stepped out into the small hallway dividing the elevator and the Captain's Cabin. Garrus opened the cabin doors and walked in a ways, expecting the pair to follow him. When he looked around, however, he saw Liara and Javik gazing at each other, clutching both hands. They were saying nothing, but Garrus swore he saw a shimmer of green biotic field flicker around them.

After a few quiet moments, Javik and Liara let go of one another. Javik stepped into the elevator with one last glance at Liara before the doors closed. Liara turned back at Garrus, grinning.

"What was that all about?" Garrus asked with a playful tone.

Liara gave him a curt shrug, "You know, saying thank-you. I think you look nice today. You smell good."

Garrus narrowed his eyes. "You two where just...uh…" He raised his brow plate comically.

Liara let out a snort, "No! Garrus! ...you would definitely know."

This made Garrus chuckle. The two sat down on the sofa and shared a moment of quiet. Garrus then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "So were you...present for my connection with Shepard?"

Liara nodded solemnly, "I could only really observe. I was mostly focusing on keeping the connection as strong and for as long as I possibly could. I heard what Shepard asked of you."

Garrus sighed and nodded, "And? What do you think?"

Liara leaned forward as well, crossing her arms across her knees. "I think Shepard is crazy if she thinks we're going to stop looking for her." This made Garrus smile at her. Liara activated her omni-tool, "I've sent a message to the Citadel before we left Aite, asking for permission to the Prothean VI. I won't be able to receive an answer until we arrive in the Sol system, but I can't imagine a reason why the Council would not comply. I also asked if there were any traces of the Reaper AI Shepard spoke to in that vid. If it's the collective intelligence of the Reapers, it may now even more than Vendetta, since it's much, much older."

Garrus was impressed, as he was going to bring that up with her. He brought up something else that had been on his mind instead. "I was thinking about what EDI said when I woke up after the emergency landing. After the Synthesis, she said she was alive, and that's what all synthetic life strived for. Do you think that's true? From what we've learned about the Reapers, their whole aim was to destroy organic life, and harvest the good stuff. Do you think when their programming went sour along the way, betraying the Leviathans, that they thought harvesting highly evolved organic races was a means to get what they wanted?"

Liara considered the thought, "It's hard to say at this point, Garrus, but if the Reapers were truly looking to become alive, I imagine I could deduce some meaning behind their attempts to harvest organic life. Their original programming was to prevent the chaos between organics and synthetics. It seems fairly odd that the Leviathans, one of the most evolved species of any cycle we know of, made the mistake of opting themselves out of the Reaper's programming to avoid becoming a potential target. I know that the Reapers eventually evolved themselves to include the Leviathans as a threat, but you would think that the Leviathans would have created some sort of fail-safe."

Mandibles flexing open and closed in thought, Garrus eventually nodded. "Yeah. Hmm. Well if EDI survived the Synthesis blast and came out of it for the better, I wonder what has become of the Reaper AI. And even if we aren't able to find it when we get back to the Crucible, maybe we can ask a Reaper."

It was obvious Liara hadn't thought of that, and she looked uncomfortable. "Er...I know the Reapers are peaceful now, but in all honesty I much rather collaborate with the AI avatar of a child rather than an actual Reaper…"

Garrus cracked a smile, "Well I can't say I blame you. But what if we have no choice?"

Liara bit her lip, "Then we ask a Reaper out for brunch. For Shepard."

The two shared a chuckle at the thought. Liara stood up, "Get some sleep, Garrus. We should be arriving tomorrow night. The Citadel will be launching the summit and memorial shortly after. Then once this aftermath has settled down, we can start looking for Shepard."

Garrus gave Laira an appreciative nod, "G'night, Liara. Thanks...for...you know. The thing."

Liara grinned, "My pleasure, Garrus. You're not a bad kisser for a turian! Shepard taught you well."

The turian gave a smirk and ran his hand over his fringe, "well it has gotten me into a lot of trouble with the ladies. Sometimes even certain envious, biotic-enraged Majors...though I think he just wanted a piece of this himself." The pair laughed again and Liara made her way out of the room.

Garrus undressed and climbed into bed. He closed his eyes and tried to put himself out into the starry void to search for Shepard's light. He would be able to do it for a few moments, but his actual dreams would start melting into view and they would take him away into a slumber. He pulled himself out of his dreams a few times out of stubbornness, and tried to reach out to Shepard again, but she was nowhere to be found. Exhausted from his futile attempts, he fell into a dreamless sleep.

The alarm blared and Garrus's eyes shot open. He felt like he'd only closed them for a total of around 20 minutes. The turian rubbed his eyes with his palms, and scratched his fringe. The alarm beeped louder and louder until Garrus steamrolled himself over to Shepard's side of the bed and dropped his hand recklessly on the snooze button, bringing the beeping to an abrupt stop.

Pulling himself out of bed, Garrus made his way to the washroom and showered. He had difficulty removing himself from under the warm spray, so he braced himself and rotated the dial all the way to the blue marker. Freezing water blasted him in the face, and he shouted in discomfort, though it did wake him up immediately. He punched the dial and the frigid cascade subsided, leaving Garrus shivering, cold droplets falling from his mandibles and other angular features.

The intercom blipped, "Captain," EDI's voice bounced off of the metal confines of the shower room. "We will be arriving at the Citadel in approximately 54 minutes. We are in comm range now and have arranged to dock directly on the Presidium."

Garrus was drying himself off, "Thanks EDI. When does the summit start, do you know?"

"Tomorrow evening, at 6pm Citadel time. The Council has asked to see you and the crew before the ceremony begins."

"Huh." Garrus wondered why the Council requested the Normandy crew before the summit, rather than after; he didn't expect they'd have time to award commendations during the preparations.

The turian spent a good 20 minutes making sure his armor was polished up, put it on, and made his way down to the CIC.

The deck bustled with crew members; they all seemed to have made an extra effort to keep up appearances. Their uniforms were freshly ironed and starched, they all had their caps on, Alliance pins polished to perfection. Garrus stepped over to the galaxy map where Traynor hadn't noticed him yet, and seemed to be applying mascara by using the small camera in her console as a reflection.

"Ready for the big day, Comm Specialist?" Garrus by no means meant to startle Traynor, but she bolted upright immediately, smudging some of her mascara under her eye.

"Captain! I am so, so sorry. I know we should be doing this on the crew deck, but I got up early putting together reports for Admiral Hackett, and then a few more for the Council in preparation for the summit. I know that's no excuse…"

Garrus gave Traynor a warm smile, reached for the handkerchief next to her console and handed it to her, "At ease, Traynor. You're looking sharp."

Traynor grinned back at Garrus before turning to her console to clear the black make-up smudge from her face. She spun back to Garrus who nodded in confirmation that she had removed the dark smudge. "Thanks, Captain," she said, stretching her mouth into an "o" shape and gently dabbing her under-eye with her ring and middle fingers.

Garrus eyed the galaxy map, "Any idea how far the clean-up on Earth has come along?"

Traynor shook her head, "Sorry, Captain, we're not sure." She looked anxious.

Garrus noticed, "We'll get to see Earth soon, Traynor. I know we won't be able to see the extent of the devastation up there from the Citadel, but the planet hasn't gone anywhere."

He must have hit home, because Traynor began tearing up, "Oh no!" She grabbed her handkerchief again and dabbed at her eye before her make-up started running. "Apologies, Captain. You mean well, I know that. It's just last we saw bits of the destruction before we left Earth, it was in ruins. I hoped by some miracle we would come back after the week and find everything freshly rebuilt and sparkling. I know that's ridiculous, but it'll be hard seeing that scale of devastation again."

Garrus put his hand on her shoulder, "It will be rebuilt, Samantha," she seemed pleasantly shocked he used her first name, "But for now, enjoy yourself and rejoice in the fact that you played a big part in keeping this galaxy afloat."

Traynor looked at Garrus with immense admiration and began tearing up again, though her tears weren't that of sadness this time. She snatched the handkerchief one more time and began giggling at her own mood swings, which in turn made Garrus chuckle. Traynor sniffed, "Ugh, I'm a mess. Thank you for your kind words, Captain."

Garrus nodded and left Traynor to her reports.

The turian spent the next 40 minutes or so making rounds on each deck, checking in with the crew. They all seemed anxious, now that they were so close to home.

Taking the elevator back to the CIC, Garrus addressed the intercom, "EDI, 5 minutes before arrival, invite the crew up to the bridge. They'll want to see Earth when we warp in. Even Major Alenko."

EDI acknowledged, "Yes, sir."

The crew members funneled themselves into the hallway of the bridge. Joker looked back and then shot a double-take at seeing so many crew members in the corridor. He mumbled something to EDI about the flight bridge not being a zoo. EDI managed to shoot back that if anything it would resemble more of an aquarium than a zoo, due to the fish-bowl like structure of the bridge, and the lack of fauna to view from the windows. Joker rolled his eyes at her but Garrus noticed Jeff also took a fond side-glance at her when she wasn't looking.

EDI got up out of her chair, and walked to the corridor. She smiled at the crew members, who returned warm gazes. Traynor was in the back of the group, doing her best to see what she could of the bridge's windows over some taller ensign's shoulders. EDI walked over to her and took her by the hand, and led her to the co-pilot's seat, gesturing Samantha to sit. Traynor looked absolutely ecstatic, and gave EDI a hug before dropping herself into EDI's seat. Joker shot Traynor a playful smirk. Looking up, Traynor watched the stars streak overhead. EDI stood behind the seat, her hands resting on Samantha's shoulders.

Garrus leaned on the wall behind Joker, enjoying the way the Normandy cut through space at warp speed. When dust particles hit the nose of the ship, they bounced off of the shields, leaving a serene flutter of blue flame-like energy, dancing about the exterior of the bridge; almost like how a biotic field looks when flaring up.

Joker opened the intercom channel, which may have been unnecessary since majority of the crew members were behind him. "Attention Normandy crew, warp to Earth arrives in 5...4...3...2….one."

The blurred stars funneling the Normandy through space stretched, and then constricted. The silhouette of Earth shot directly towards them like it was thrown from a sling-shot. The planet took up the entire scene. The bridge flooded with sunlight; the crew gasped in awe.

It was beautiful. The sun was eclipsed by the planet, highlighting Earth's circumference with dazzling, almost blinding fiery sunlight. The clouds visible at the seams of the silhouette shone in spirals of gold. The Citadel floated peacefully over the Earth's atmosphere, it's arms stretched all the way open to reflect what light that escaped from behind the planet, making it look like a brilliant golden star. Debris from the battle drifted listlessly about, sparkling in the sunlight.

The Normandy beelined for the Citadel; which became larger and larger as they approached it. The arms now glittered with the lights of the wards. Garrus turned to the crew members.

"Good work, team," he began. The members stood at attention and saluted. Garrus continued, "You got us back safe and sound; I couldn't have asked for it done any more efficiently. That brings me to a promise I made you." Some of the ensigns snickered, and Garrus grinned, "I owe this crew a round of drinks. I know you have family to get to, but if you're not sick of staring at my ugly turian mug, a round at Purgatory, tonight; on me."

The crew clapped and cheered, some patting Garrus on the shoulder. Garrus nodded and put him his hand and the applause quieted down. "As a matter of finding Shepard, I will be doing what I can to get more information on her whereabouts. I couldn't ask for a better crew to assist me with the search. I'm not sure entirely as to how we will move forward once we find more information, or how long it will be until we can even make the next move...but I'll be one hell of a lucky Captain this crew had my back."

The crew members cheered louder this time, clapping and hooting, Garrus felt a rush of sentiment towards them; he certainly understood why Shepard kept them around.

Vega stepped forward, "We've talked, Captain, and we're still in.. Every one of of us. You just say the word, and we'll be back on the Normandy ASAP. Shepard was our Commander, and our friend. If there's a slim-ass chance she's out there, we're finding her!" The crew hooted and became rowdy with applause, and began funnelling their way out of the bridge corridor.

Joker docked the Normandy at a terminal on the Presidium, and the crew exited the ship and dispersed in all direction, hauling their duffle bags.

Shepard's squadmates and closest friends lingered behind with Garrus: Joker, EDI, Liara, Tali, Javik, Vega, Cortez and Traynor. Kaiden stepped off the Normandy, holding his dufflebag at his side. He noticed Garrus and didn't seem to know what to do; whether he should keep walking or approach the turian. Garrus made it easy for him; he walked over to Kaiden and held out a hand, "You're a good soldier, Major, and a good friend of Shepard's; I can appreciate that."

Kaiden gave Garrus a submissive look, but took his hand, shaking firmly. "Thanks, Captain. I uh...I wish you the best. In your investigation." They let go of the handshake but Kaiden seemed like he left something unsaid. He began walking away.

Garrus turned to his friends, but he heard Kaiden call his name "Vakarian…" the turian shot around to look at the Major. The rest of the squad looked over as well.

Kaiden looked somewhat ashamed, but allowed his determination to overpower it, "Bring Shepard back. Okay?"

Garrus gave a curt smile, "If she's out there, nothing will stop me from getting her back."

This seemed sufficient enough for Kaiden, who saluted and turned away, disappearing into the bustling terminal crowds.

Tali spoke first, "Can anyone suggest a cheap place to stay while we're on the Citadel? Preferably clean if possible...I'd like to avoid all the effort it took to drag myself through hoards of Peapers only to die to a bacterial-induced fever."

Garrus shook his head and raised his hands, "Look, you're not staying in a hotel; none of you are. Shepard gave me authorization to her apartment on the Citadel in case...well in case what has happened, happened. There's enough space for everyone. If you don't have a place to stay, send me your ID prints to my omni-tool and I'll set them in the system so you have access to the apartment."

The team was astounded, though grateful, and and Garrus was met with a cascade of thank-yous. Traynor mentioned something about a jacuzzi.

Garrus chuckled, "Alright, alright, let's find a shuttle that won't be too intimidated by our menacing appearance and relax for a while. Get some messages out to your friends and family, nap, eat, and re-apply our mascara."

The team laughed, Traynor chimed, "I have a shade that would really make your eyes pop!"

Garrus bowed his head, "Much appreciated, Comm Specialist. Though when I took that rocket to the face back on Omega, I was pretty sure my eyes were as close popping as I'd ever like them to be."

The team cracked up, though Traynor looked horrified, which only made the rest laugh harder.

When the team arrived at Shepard's apartment, they split up and sorted out rooms to share. Admiral Anderson had a supply of extra air-mats stored in a closet, so anyone stuck without a bed would be able to set themselves up quite comfortably on the floor. The team left the main bedroom for Garrus to occupy.

After the team made themselves at home, it was about noon; there were a good 6 hours to spare before they would head over to Purgatory for a home-coming party. Vega, Cortez and Joker cracked open some beers, took a seat at the bar, and flipped on the vid-screen. Not many channels were available due to the current aftermath of the war, but some sports programming was available, and they landed on some biotiball replay games that were recorded before the sports channels shut down.

Traynor convinced EDI to share the jacuzzi with her and head out for some shopping after. Samantha may have been slightly over-excited at the fact that EDI was content with being treated like a life-sized fashion doll. Traynor even insisted on doing EDI's make-up for the night, though it wasn't clear as to how that would technically work.

Liara and Javik sat at the piano at the other end of the flat; they shared the bench, and were huddled together over the keys and they were playing a soft song. It was clear Javic picked up on the music very quickly due to his advanced evolutionary skills, and he could pass on anything he learned to Liara through touch, and visa versa.

Garrus found himself at his favourite perch; the balcony above the main living room. Being a sniper for so long, he favoured higher places that showed him as much of the area as possible.

He felt anxious, like he was being useless when he should be out looking for Shepard. He attempted to put the anxiety out of his mind. The crew deserved some time to themselves to recuperate, and jump-starting the investigation with nothing to go on yet would be futile. Garrus however felt rearing to go; he felt like he'd done so much sleeping since he passed out on the Normandy after Shepard charged for the Crucible. A part of him wanted to make Liara meld with him again to try and find Shepard, but he knew it was physically and mentally taxing on both Liara and the Commander. Additionally, Shepard had been very straight forward on the fact she would not be trying to reach out anymore.

Garrus understood why Shepard said such things, but he couldn't help feeling hurt. Though when he thought about it further, he would have done the same if he were in Shepard's position. If he had one chance to say an extra goodbye, he would take it. But he would not allow Shepard to waste away searching for him. Knowing her though, she probably would have tried anyway, as stubborn as she is. Garrus chuckled to himself; he and Shepard were so alike when it came to determination. Putting them together on a mission, in the battlefield...that determination could not be faltered. They were an unstoppable force together, and without her he felt like a missing piece of himself was missing. It was an uncomfortable, restless feeling.

He wondered if that missing piece would have felt so painful if Shepard were actually dead; knowing for sure she wasn't coming back...would that have felt less agonizing? He felt disgusted with himself for even considering that. The fact that he knew she was out there, but no idea where, how far, or in what condition she was...it was the main reason he wanted the crew around in the apartment.

He was more than happy to offer them a place to stay, but much of the reasoning behind his invite was for himself. Garrus didn't want to be alone, and arriving at the apartment by himself may have been maddening. The noises of the vid-screen, the guys laughing and jeering, the subtle clink of piano keys; even EDI and Traynor giggling together; he needed it.

He began spiraling into another cascade of self-doubt and loathing; how he should have been the one to sacrifice himself over Shepard, how he should have believed she was still alive the moment he saw her in his dream, and how he's not out there, searching for her now.

During the war, Garrus had been with Shepard at her most vulnerable. A at the time she was having almost the exact same feelings he was experiencing now. When she was sent to unite the galactic forces during the war, she admitted to Garrus he was the one thing holding her together when her mission was to leave Earth behind to the destruction of the Reapers. The same went for him when it was time for him to leave Palaven, and he had reassured her what she was doing was for the good of Earth; for everyone.

Garrus tried to force himself to use his own logic as a safeguard from his thoughts of self-doubt. The one thing keeping him going, keeping him together was knowing Shepard was out there. Iff she was out there somewhere, there was a way to get her back to him.

"Garrus?" Tali's voice was almost a whisper behind him; she could tell the turian was deep in thought.

Garrus reeled around to face the quarian, "Tali...sorry I was just…"

"Thinking about Shepard." She finished for him, stepping over and joining him by leaning on the bannister.

"Yeah…" he admitted, "She's out there somewhere and I'm enjoying the luxuries of her apartment."

Tali gave a nod, "Yes, but we can't do anything until the Council agrees to see us. You'd think that after saving the galaxy, they'd give us a couple minutes of their time, but they've told Liara they'll be speaking with her tomorrow before the summit anyway. I suppose trying to piece together a new unified government that includes all galactic races is some sort of priority"

This made Garrus snort, and Tali's green eyes gleamed playfully under her mask, "Once we find out more about the Crucible, we can find out more about where Shepard went."

Garrus appreciated the reassurance, "I hope so, Tali. If that VI doesn't have any further information, we'll be looking for a Reaper AI that was installed on the Citadel back in the Prothean cycle."

Tali stood up straight, "Reaper AI? On the Citadel for _that long_? That brings up so many questions..."

"Exactly," Garrus agreed, "Liara showed me a vid of Shepard when she...you know. Before she sacrificed herself, she was speaking with some sort of entity that claimed to be the Reaper Intelligence. How it got to the Citadel, I don't know, but I think once we find out, it will lead to more questions, which will hopefully lead to Shepard."

Tali gave a thoughtful nod, though her tone was somewhat hurt "I wonder why she never came to me in a dream...she came to you and Liara."

Garrus hadn't considered that, he was so caught up in the fact that he didn't think he'd be able to connect with Shepard in a dream again...he didn't realize that Shepard's other friends may have wondered why they couldn't have the same dreams. He came up with the best, most honest answer he could think of.

"I think reaching out to connect like that was incredibly taxing on Shepard. Whatever she was doing, however she was doing it, she could only do it once in a while. She said when she wasn't reaching out, she was only gathering her strength to do it again. She's far away, Tali, so I think it had to do something with the way I...opened my self to her…does that make sense?"

Tali nodded, she didn't seem as offended anymore, but Garrus chose to reassure her.

"And as for Liara...it definitely had to do with the fact that Liara is an asari. Tali, I believe wholeheartedly that Shepard would have reached out to each and every one of us if she could. Though don't take my word for it. You'll have to ask her yourself when we track her down." Garrus turned his head to eye Tali and to see if it had cheered her up.

She nodded once again and gazed back at Garrus, "Thank you, Garrus. Maybe I will. Maybe I can guilt her into wishing she hadn't activated the Crucible after all." The pair laughed at this together.

Tali turned her body to Garrus, changing the subject, "Garrus, I wanted to ask you a favor. Apparently quarians have been removing their enviro suits since the Synthesis...synthesized us. Apparently it's somehow sped up the recovery of our immune systems. I was going to wait until after the summit in case...you know, it doesn't work out as well as I thought, but I want to test it. Huerta Memorial has a special ward for volus and quarians that are interested in learning more, and even attempting to remove their suits. So far the few that have been bold enough to try it, are walking around the Citadel this very minute; experiencing it like none of our species has for decades."

Garrus raised his brow, "You want me to go with you?"

Tali nodded bashfully, "If you would. It wouldn't take more than two hours. They'll answer my questions, and then we'll try a few allergy tests, as well as some others with the suit on. If I'm feeling confident, I may be able to remove the suit once and for all."

Garrus gave Tali a smile, "Of course Tali, yeah...I've never seen what a quarian looks like under the mask...are you going to make me regret it?"

This made Tali giggle, "Couldn't be worse than a pair of mandibles and beady green eyes."

It was Garrus's time to laugh, "I guess I can't argue with that. Let's head over and see what the damage is."

Tali nodded in appreciation and grabbed a satchel, pulling the strap across her chest and shoulder. The two hailed a shuttle to take them to Huerta Memorial Hospital.

When Tali and Garrus exited the taxi shuttle and made their way to the hospital, they began receiving peculiar looks; some people stopped what they were doing altogether to watch the pair walk down the corridor to the elevator. Garrus mumbled to Tali under his breath, "Tali...did I not fasten my suit up properly back there today?"

Tali chortled but gave a confused shake of her head, "I'm not sure what's happening…"

At that moment, a human female approached them, wringing her hands nervously. "Are you...are you the turian and quarian who helped Commander Shepard save the galaxy from the Reapers?" A small crowd had formed; green eyes looking up at Tali and Garrus in awe.

Garrus scratched his neck and looked down at Tali, "Well, we were part of Commander Shepard's squad, if that's what you meant."

The crowd began buzzing with whispers and some stepped forward, enveloping Garrus and Tali. The human woman took Tali's hand with both of hers, "Thank you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Without the Commander and her crew...we all know we would be lost. Everything would be lost."

The crowd began to grow, citizens, soldiers, c-sec, employees alike of all species surrounded them. The woman continued, squeezing Tali's hand fondly, "When Commander Shepard activated that machine...it stopped the fighting in it's tracks. My son was serving on Earth when it happened. I hadn't heard from him and the devastation was so...horrifying. I had started to expect the worst… then the green wave hit us. My son called me shortly after. He told me that if Commander Shepard had activated the machine seconds later, he would have been dead; he was out of ammo, and cornered by a Reaper abomination."

It was clear Tali was tearing up, she was unable to say anything, but she let the woman embrace her, wrapping her arms around her.

The woman teared and sniffed, "I'm sorry for your loss. Commander Shepard seemed like the one person who tried warning everyone early on, but nobody wanted to listen. We all treated the Reapers like a fairy tale. Even after all that, she sacrificed herself for all of us. Every race, every person, deserving or not. She is a true hero, and you are too. Thank you...thank you."

The crowd began clapping and many people patted Garrus on the back and came forward to shake Garrus' and Tali's hands, looking them in the eye with complete and utter admiration and gratitude.

One very young human girl pushed her way through the crowd and gawked up at Garrus. He kneeled down as close to eye level with her as he could, "Hi there." He said warmly; she seemed overwhelmed with his presence now that she was up close. "It's alright," he told her, "Everyone is safe here. What's that you have?" The girl was holding something behind her back.

She gave Garrus another bashful look, and slowly pulled her hand from behind her back. "A present. For you...sir." Her voice was almost a whisper. She held it out for Garrus, a small doll with a messy red mop of hair dangled in her palm. Garrus's throat tightened. The plush doll had a tiny felt suit of armor on, with an embroidered "N7" logo directly sown into the middle of the chest.

Garrus placed his hand under the little girl's; his claws were enormous compared to her tiny hands. He cradled her hand in his; the Shepard doll staring up with a sweet, blank grin. He let out a short chuckle, "Heh. It looks just like her!"

"You have it, crab-kitty man. You have the doll - she's your girlfriend!" Some of the crowd chortled; more so at the girl's cuteness than the idea of Shepard and Garrus together.

Garrus couldn't help but grin at her."Oh is she!? You don't think that's weird? Maybe she thought I was more handsome than any human male!" It was clear his tone was playful, and many of the surrounding crowd members whooped.

The little girl crinkled her nose, "No way! The Canadian guy is way cuter!" The crowd laughed a bit harder, clapping.

Garrus gave her a mock-hurt look, "What? Major Alenko? No way, he doesn't even have any mandibles!"

This made the little girl laugh with glee, but then stopped short, "What are mandibles?"

It was Garrus's turn to laugh, "These are my mandibles." He flexed and contracted his mandibles a few times and the girl looked at him in awe.

She raised her hand cautiously, reaching slowly to touch his face on the scarred side. "What happened?" the girl asked with pure concern. She touched the scarred mandible gently and made a funny face, as if she were disgusted and astounded at the same time; though she didn't flinch away.

Garrus grinned, "Well, when I was a young turian, I didn't eat my greens!"

The crowd and the girl laughed, it was obvious she didn't believe him. She gave Garrus a curious look, and then down at her doll thoughtfully. "I want to give you my Shepard. You can keep her under your pillow...she keeps my bad dreams away."

Garrus couldn't hide his frown, but replied warmly, "You don't want to keep her? I can tell she's very special to you."

The girl shook her head, and then tipped the doll into Garrus's hand; the mop of red hair flopping between his claws. "Nope. I have 3 more! Bigger ones!"

Garrus laughed, "Well okay then. I'll keep her under my pillow when I sleep." He stood up, observing the doll for a moment, and then looked back at the girl. "Thank you," he saluted her.

The girl attempted to mirror his salute, and clumsily raised the wrong hand to her forehead, making it look like she was shielding her eyes instead of saluting. This made the crowd guffaw, and she seemed pleased with herself, giggling while running back to her mother. The mother locked eyes with Garrus, and gave him a gentle nod of appreciation.

The crowd dispersed shortly after they expended their gratitude for Tali and Garrus. Tali took the Commander Shepard doll and turned it around gingerly in her hands. "That was...adorable," she beamed, handing the doll back to Garrus.

"I try," he replied, making Tali roll her eyes. "So, Tali. You ready?"

Tali nodded with a sigh, "More than I'll ever be."

The pair took the elevator to the Huerta Memorial ward. Garrus couldn't help but glance down at the Shepard doll every few minutes or so. The doors hissed open, and they stepped onto the bustling ward.

**Thank you for reading! To be continued.**


End file.
